MPC, I feel your pain.
I have a couple coaches (in different sports) that over the years like to push... continually... asking for justification of my calls, wanting to tell me how rules are supposed to be enforced, catchers shrugging shoulders and pulling pitches, pitchers trying to convince me of my errors... etc.
I don't think any discussion about the rules, as spelled out in the rulebook, is warranted in the pregame. Just enforce them. I only speak to ground rules, sometimes I will ask that everyone is properly equipped (no jewelry), "Let's have a great game," and GO.
What it really comes down to is what are your limits/what is your tolerance? If you don't establish those limits, the coaches and players (and then the fans) are going to push until you erupt. The way you establish them, is rule enforcement, and demanding that behavior which is beyond your limits, stop immediately. One warning is enough. Further, poor behavior warrants immediate, non-emotional ejection.
It must be done for your sanity.
Some suggestions:
I ask for balls before I need them. I've never been handed a ball in a wrapper during a game. I think I might hold it up by a corner of the baggie for all to see, look at it, and either send it back or walk back to the dugout and hand the bag back to the person that sent it out that way. "Next time, give me a ball that is ready to be used. I don't need a new ball, just one that can be used. This one isn't ready to be used and now you are making me delay the game because you want to be a smart aleck."
With a hand held up, "Coach, that is enough."
"I have heard absolutely enough about balls and strikes from this dugout. STOP IT NOW."
Coach, you don't have any input on how I enforce and interpret the rules. You are here to coach; not continually bicker and beg for me to accept your interpretation of how the rules should be applied to your benefit. STOP.
"Let's go Number 4; get in the box."
To the catcher continually holding and pulling pitches, "That pitch was inside. Quit trying to sell me, and everybody else, on pitches that are out of the zone."
"Trying to tell your pitcher (or your coach) that my calls are wrong is not going to make your situation better. It's only going to get ugly. You need to encourage them to put the ball in my zone and accept that I'm the only one that calls strikes."
Or whatever your limits are... establish them and enforce them... every time. It is when you vacillate that you will be pushed more, and your pain/agony will grow.
I'm rather upbeat and approachable with coaches and it is when they aren't the same that my limits get pushed. It is then that detached professionalism must be used.
Just my opinions and some comments that I might use. Good luck.
