I hate to be rude here, but Matthew has once again displayed his mindset to ignore the rules and do what he feels is right. Matthew, I know you are young, but you do have alot to learn.
First, don't ever assume a ref can't handle their business, because if they can't they wouldn't be out there.
Second,
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True, I probably shouldn't throw him out, but when he gets that personal to a referee, I feel I should step in
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There is no room for feelings in officiating, you either can or can't. It is of my opinion you don't have this authority.
Finally, if you don't think the coach is going to mind a female, what makes you think the coach would pay any attention to a 13 year old? I also wonder if the uniformed person would abide your commmand.