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I will answer this as a coach, as my experience on that side of the fence is much greater than as an umpire.
The two things that would upset me more than anything else in trying to have a discussion with an umpire were:
1) smugness or arrogance
2) interrupting me before I could finish a point that I was trying to make
So I guess I'm chiming in with hearty endorsements of (b) and (d) in the previous post.
The thing that would always shut me up quick when I was agitated was an umpire who would calmly say "coach, I'm happy to talk to you about this, but please, let's do it from three feet, not 30 feet, and let's do it calmly". This would always shame me into the proper demeanor and would help us get the issue resolved effectively.
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Thanks,
Jim
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