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From coach to coach
Limit what you say to stuff that really matters, and stuff that can maybe be changed. Stuff that can change includes correctable error - but you better know the rule cold, including what falls under it and when it can be applied. I will also go to a ref if a team is consistently doing something illegal and getting an advantage from it, e.g., scoring off an illegal screen. You don't ask them to call the one that just happened, but you might say that "Watch 32, she is setting illegal screens at the elbow every time," or something to that effect. But this should only be used when it's blatant and happened more than one occasion, not the borderline screens that we all get away with or the single illegal screen that was missed.
I will rarely go to the ref on a blatant missed call where I think I might get it back, like the three points rule on the backcourt call (and I got one of these reversed when the ref just blew it and knew it) or an inbounds backcourt call when we didn't have player control (also got one reversed). However, I have also had a ref say my team did have control or that my dribbler did have all three points front court, at which point the conversation is over - we are now in agreement as to the correct application of the rules, he just saw something differently than me and it's what he saw that counts!
Also, I didn't do any of these things in a confrontational manner, and I was right on the point about what the rule was and why it impacted a call.
Stuff that you leave alone is in many posts above (asking for 3 secs, over the back, etc.), as well as the single no-call on a foul, arguing a block/charge call, arguing the direction on an OOB call, etc. These are single calls based on judgment, they were already made, and they don't change. If you think a rule was applied incorrectly, know the rule and plead your case responsibly. If you think he didn't see the right thing and you want to question his judgment, you get nowhere in my experience.
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