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I'm checking in kinda late on this thread, but I want to make just one observation. The very best coaches of the very best teams, coach their players only. I had a game with an unbelievably good 8th grade team where I never heard the coach say one word against the refs, and we weren't that great. Here's one interaction I heard between him and one of his players:
She: Coach, I'm getting hacked!
Coach: Then you're not running fast enough. Get away from that defender!
She: But why isn't the ref calling it?
Coach: Because you're doing something wrong.
She: ME!?!?
Coach: If what you're doing isn't getting the result you want, do something different. It's that simple.
First of all, this is very good coaching, and he got results. Second of all, I was totally on his side for the rest of the game. I didn't call it unfairly, although they'd have won by 30 points or more no matter what I did. But I definitely didn't have to tighten up to prove a point or something. The coach and I were on the same team, trying to give the girls a good game. I liked that feeling!
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