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Originally posted by JRutledge
I think you do not understand the peeking order here. Officials have the authority over the game, whether you like it or not.
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I do understand the pecking order, and have no qualms with it.
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But to say that my commenting to a coach who is talking to me, as being confrontational, not sure what world that is from.
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Never said that you commenting to a coach is contfrontational. I said that inserting unstated accusations into a conversation changes the nature of that conversation.
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Do not make it sound like a coach saying "the fouls are 7-2" are not directed at a specific official.
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I will make it sound that way because I believe this to be the case. You are taking personal offense at something that I do not believe is personal. If you are primarily working three-man, you can't be the only official calling (or not calling) fouls. The comment is directed toward a game situation that makes the coach mad, he thinks your crew is doing a bad job, he lets you know it, and you are clearly personalizing it.
Would you take offense when he complains about your partner's charging call to you because you are closest? If your partner calls a travel and he complain to you, is he suggesting that you are cheating because you did nothing about that call? He's just complaining, that's it.
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Would you rather me just T the coach without saying anything? . . .
But I guess we cannot comment, you think it is confrontational?
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No - read my posts above and you will see I sugggest that you shut him up if his comments bother you.
Obviously you will do what you want, and you take these comments to be personal affronst to which you must respond. I don't hope to change your mind, but hopefully my responses allow others to consider how they deal with confrontation in their games and in their lives.
I learned as a Navy leader not to personalize anything in a confrontational situation - keep things professional. When an individual atttempts to personalize, you acknowledge their comments and you then steer the conversation back to a professional level. I have found this to serve me well in all walks of life. Keeps me happy and keeps me moving onward and upward.