Three interesting books related to player-coach interaction:
Creative Coaching - A book for coaches that specifically focuses on interaction with players and team-building. The author uses a number of prestigious top-level coaches as examples of various principles.
Season on the Brink - This always strikes me as more of a story about a player-coach relationship than one about an IU basketball season. Reading it leaves plenty of room for discussion about the impact of Coach Knight's style of interaction with his team and his key player. The ongoing saga of their relationship adds to the mystique a bit, too. One thing I like about the book is that both sides of the "pro-" and "anti-" Bob Knight debate like to point to the book for evidence to support their views.
Bleachers - A fairly recent John Grisham novel that has its main characters looking back at their relationship with their sometimes-abusive former football coach. Personally, I liked this effort better than Grisham's trademark lawyer stories. It's a very quick read.
And finally an interesting web site:
http://www.positivecoach.org/
This group is devoted to positive coaching principles in all levels of competition. Their teaching motto is "Honor the Game." I like a lot of their ideals even if I don't always live up to them as a coach.
I'm more of a coach than an official. As my coaching responsibilities have increased, my officiating has decreased (to the point where I barely officiate any more). While there are certainly exceptions, many coaches fail to appreciate what it takes to be a great official, and many officials are quick to expect the worst from coaches.
A note to the (apparent) player who started this thread: At the risk of appearing to "coddle," I will say that I like my players to approach me directly and privately when they are frustrated. I don't call my players "stupid," but I sometimes say things that I regret. It's impossible to tell much from your message, but I want my players to use the same skills in personal interaction as we teach on the court. These include decisive action, proactive decision making, courage, and the ability to use your emotions without being controlled by them. I would consider talking to your coach privately. Good luck in your season and the rest of your playing days.