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I have found that a good pre game helps tremendously. However I recently posted about a similar issue where my partner and I were very different on when we call a T. Even though we had a good pregame to find a common ground he went contrary to our agreement during the game. I ended up just trying to work with him and keep him and the coach away from each other. But he really tried to tone down a bit and we tried to work together. When someone does not want to try or does not care enough to have team consisitency it is a pain.
I am fortunate in that in my association the varsity officials do numerous evaluations and as such they see these things and help to deal with it. Plus there is a written record that goes in.
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Ron
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