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If, when you turned to look at the coach, you confirmed that he had been requesting a TO, then grant it. Simply go to your partner and say, "We had a TO first". Tell the opposing the coach the same thing. He/she won't like it, but tough.
If you can't confirm that the coach was requesting TO, then you go with your partner's call.
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Any NCAA rules and interpretations in this post are relevant for men's games only!
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