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You have a real problem here. If this is your only travel team option and he is the club founder, he is going to make the rules. Travel is very loosely organized and coaching behavior very poorly policed (which is over stating it becuase it is rarely policed!). You need to talk with your daughter about how she feels about this situation, but this is a problem coach who is not likely to change. If you can't live with this behavior, your only choice appears to be pulling your daughter, and that is a shame to have to do this because it affects her future prospects.
Yes the coach is wrong. I coach travel ball, have a successful team, and take the opposite tack most of the time. If we lose (or are losing), I have to build them back up. That's not to say I haven't chewed some butt after a particularly awful effort. I have never threatened to quit, told them they disgusted/embarrassed me, told them they made me want to vomit, or anything of this nature.
I focus on team. I focus on effort. I focus on what we talked about trying to accomplish and how well we did in reaching that goal. I am not part of this discussion - it is about them and what they want to do, not about how they make me look. I challenge them and ask them to respond.
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