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In the NBA there are, what, 50 refs? Whatever the number, it's enough that all the coaches know all of the refs by name (many teams actually have a coach or assistant who tracks officials). When the coaches know your name it is a sign of disrespect to call you "ref." At the high school level, however, you're lucky if the coach remembers your name from the introductions - "ref" is acceptable in these circumstances.
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"To win the game is great. To play the game is greater. But to love the game is the greatest of all."
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