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8th grade game, flag a kid for blocking in the back on a TD run. Coach is chewing on him from the sideline. Kid has enough, steps out of the huddle and says to the coach,"There was no way I could have hit him in the back, coach, I was holding him.
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Strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. If I went around claiming I was an emperor just because some moistened bink lobbed a scimitar at me, they would put me away.
-Monty Python-
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