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Is it an idiom?
re: the grabbing. Warning if not an immediate T (Had to be there situation - grab and latch, grandpa "woah there sonny", hand on arm "hey what about") Can't put hands on officials but context here may make the difference between a warning to avoid it happening again or an immediate T.
re: taking it personally. The problem here is again context. 'Taking it personally' can mean that you are taking something as a personal afront but it is also an idiomatic expression (merriam-webster if you don't believe me) that can mean generally upset or offended by something. He could simply be questioning why it upsets or bothers you , particularly if his behavior has been allowed in other games by other officials.
Regarldess using the if it walks like a duck, talks like . . . theory. T him the duck up.
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Coach: Hey ref I'll make sure you can get out of here right after the game!
Me: Thanks, but why the big rush.
Coach: Oh I thought you must have a big date . . .we're not the only ones your planning on F$%&ing tonite are we!
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