[Rich Ives]

A noble man in blue recently asked on another board “What kind of coach would pay $50 to post to an umpire board?” It seemed to me that it was asked derisively. “Typical umpire,” says me to myself. My answer – “A Smart One!”

Let’s start with a very basic premise, that one must know the rules of the game in order to properly coach it. From the very basic “How do you get an out?” to “What is a balk?” and the ever popular “Interference/Obstruction” rules, one cannot teach the players how to play if one does not know the rules of the game. And, perhaps more importantly, why risk the scorn of all (except Ol’ Smitty of course) by yelling out “The hands are part of the bat!” when a few minutes of constructive browsing will let you know you should just shut up?

So some of us take the time to at least peruse the rulebook to get a feel for the basics. Here we find, for example, that a batter-runner is out if he or first base is tagged before he touches the base. So, we merrily watch one sunny day as our fine shortstop makes a great play in the hole, fires to first, but just too late. But wait! The runner missed the base! He didn’t “touch the base!” He’s out!!! Why is that *%$(&^% umpire signaling safe?!?! After reading and participating on the boards, we now know. He missed the base fer shur, but a missed base is covered by the appeal rule, and not by the rule we knew was right. NOW we know how to react AND how to teach the players to react (and, if necessary, the basis for having a more objective discussion with a lesser trained umpire.)

By now we realize that there is a LOT more we need to know about the rules and what to expect from the umpire’s calls.

We also need to know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em. To do this, we need to know a bit about the philosophical approach of “the umpire.” Where else to find out than by reading their discussions as to how they approach the game, and their dealings with coaches. We can discover that they actually do have personalities. We find that they range from the relaxed to the anal-retentive. We learn why “you blew that one” will get you tossed but “how did you see it?” will keep you around. We cringe at their “stupid coach” statements, then discover that, for the most part, it’s only the newbies or wannabees that use the phrase. The trouble is, what’s the guy that’s here today? We thus learn that we need to “scope out” the umpire early on to determine if he’s a member of the “it’s my field” camp or a bit more laid back. And we want to learn the easy way, not the “watch from the car” way.

We also learn that the umpire has a tough job, one where half the people there think you’re wrong on every close/tough call. We gain a better appreciation of the umpire’s job and what he faces performing it. We learn when it’s time to get the league UIC to have a refresher course for his staff too . . .

Hey, we’re here to play the game. We don’t need no stinking arguments. We prepare the players, we need to prepare ourselves too. This place is a great place to learn.