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There are plenty of assigners, camp clinicians, officials, coaches, administrators, etc. who assume you are in the wrong someway, somehow whenever you issue a T, e.g. it must have been the result of bad game management. We are the bad guys for taking care of business. No, this is not the case most of the time, but it does happen. And that is one of the reasons officials may be reluctant to whack.
Instead of asking "what could we have done differently?" or "did it fit?" every time a T is issued, maybe just admit that the coach's reaction was disproportionate with the actual or perceived slight.
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