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About 65-70 percent of the time, at any level (boys varsity included), if I see there's any sort of pressure being applied on the thrower-in, I instruct the thrower-in that he/she can move back as far as they want. If I see the defender is already overzealous and doing jumping jacks before the ball is even live, I also remind them to treat the throw-in plane as a wall they can't reach through until the pass is released. They don't always listen or understand, but I've tried to help them and avoid a mess, just as we do when we talk players out of the lane or tell them to stop holding/pushing.
I think it's good game management.
As for the OP, your partner had no business doing what he did. That's for the locker room, or during a timeout, if at all. Sounds like you handled the situation perfectly/normally before he came in to give his zero cents.
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