Officials training as a topic, I need ideas on . . . how to relate to the players.

any input would be helpful

I am not sure what you are looking for. Are you talking about relating to players as an official or as a coach? What age group are you working with?

I would think that the best way to relate to players is to play the game itself.

Perhaps have a novice ref officiate for you and then have an experience one for the next game. Once you realize the difference in officiating level, you can see the difference of the effect on the players. Does this make sense?

I guess what I meant, was more along the lines of relating to the players during pre-game, warm-up, and during the match.

I have seen officals actually talking to the players during the match, "good job" "nice work" etc. is this acceptable?

I also had a coach tell me that he preferred a certain official because of the way that official related to the girls. Any ideas as to what that might include?

I can't imagine that compliments to the players is EVER appropriate during the match. Too much risk of appearing less than impartial - let the coaches deliver the compliments and/or criticisms, that's not the officials' job.

"Friendly, firm, fair" is the standard. And call a consistent game and know the rules.

Acting as an official in any match, I personally don't speak to the players during the match at all. Homer is right, it appears as inappropriate behavior. I save all my compliments until the match is over.

It's always a good idea to get to know the coach and some of the players before the match. Introduce yourself, and inform them that the game will begin on time or be delayed due to such and such. Show confidence and knowledge of the rules enforced. Go over what you will be looking for, what is acceptable and unacceptable ball contacts.