Social Media
 

A simple question that I hope sparks discussion.

Is it acceptable for an umpire to be "friends" on Facebook with a coach at any level?

(or any social media, for that matter)

Since in today's world, especially in social media, the term "friend" carries a completely different meaning that, IMO, actually devalues the moniker, my answer would be yes.

Who business is it, anyway? The conspiracy theorists may have an issue, then again, they have an issue with which way one dispenses their toilet paper in their home bathroom. :rolleyes:

Let me counter with this: Are there umpires out there who have "real" friends that happen to be coaches? If you have a friend who becomes a coach, do you terminate that friendship? If you have a sibling who becomes a coach, do you terminate all contact? And what happens when you have a coach who also umpires! :eek:

AFAIC, an umpire officiates the game, not the people. You can be friends all you want away from the game. If you have someone that cannot separate personal association from the game, they probably shouldn't be either an umpire or a coach.

And, yes, this is my opinion at all levels.

What would be the issue here? Would someone actually think that there might be some sort of conflict of interest if that umpire were to work a game involving a "friend" coach? Wow.

FWIW, I have Facebook friends and LinkedIn colleagues who are people I haven't seen in years. I don't call them or exchange emails with them. If I do end up crossing paths with them, I might just say Hi or even stop and have a quick conversation with them. I certainly don't invite them over to the house for beer and steaks on the grill.

Heck, I carry on more meaningful conversations with coaches in the stands while watching games I'm not working than I do with my "virtual friends."

I am FB friends with at least 10 coaches (at some level), several people who were, are, or have been board members in various leagues, and probably 20 or so players as well. It's never ever come up as an issue, not once.

It's only a problem when someone is ACTUAL friends - the kind you go have a beer with.

I don't have a problem with that. Most of us umpire the bulk of our games in our communities, so we will be umpiring games with coaches who are friends, who are acquaintances, who we exchange email with, and who we can't stand.

If an umpire needs to isolate himself to call a game with impartiality, he shouldn't be umpiring.

From the umpire standpoint, I agree with you. I believe I could call a fair game between my brother as coach, my daughter and 8 of her friends on one team, and 10 people that set my cat on fire on the other side...

It's the perception standpoint I was referring to... I should have been more clear. Umpiring games where people you know you are publicly friends with are on one side can cause perceptional problems from other people.

Well to me the social media ain't the problem. It's the National Federation that has the problem. I'm here under an AKA, 'cause our fed. don't want us to be on a forum, nor on Facebook (and others) with softball related friends.

I do have a LinkedIn account, but nothing else. I want my friends to be real, the ones I can have a beer with.
The players and coaches that I know outside the softball-community are, just like me, professional enough to don't let the game come between our friendship. Before and during the game, nobody can see we are friends. After we all have had our shower, we can all together have a beer (or two)...

For example this little story. Last week I was umpire on the ECWA 2012 in Enschede (Ned.) [an ESF tournament - ECWA 2012 - 20-25 august -]. I saw a friend on nearby the bar. He was with his DD there and she was a player on the tournament. When I came to talk to her father, she just gave me a smile and left us... That's the proper way to avoid problems.

Many of you are probably aware, but the NCAA SUP has a policy that umpires should not be Facebook (or other similar media) friends with any current players or coaches. They further warn against discussing games or future game assignments in any manner, believing that rabid fans and parents will find some way to challenge the impartiality.

To most, this is overkill, and at other levels (short of professional leagues) it is absurdity. But, the NCAA program has set those guidelines, and like it or not, if you to play in their game, you have to play by their rules.

Are you kidding? My 4th year of umpiring (17yo), my brother was on a team and I had their game. I didn't think anything about it and did not hear that some people had a problem until after the game. However, I think those problems disappeared around the 4th inning when he struck out and started hollering at me like a brother. That lasted all of 3 seconds and I dumped him. Apparently, he though being my brother would get him some slack..........but no it did not. When he got home he whined to our parents about how mean I was. My old man told him I wasn't the one who didn't hit the ball and he should have kept his trap shut. :D

Never had a problem with him again.

The problem isn't social media, or the community association or, well, take your pick. The problem is the weak backbone people have in today's world. They cannot possibly lose, so it must be someone else's fault. It's like dealing with these moron politicians who don't have enough fingers to point out who is to blame for what, but seems like all thumbs when it comes to actually picking up a tool to fix the problem.

C'mon....many of us are on are probably on beer drinking terms with coaches. In JO ASA I am friends with at least 25% of the coaches....(maybe more)...and many of them on beer drinking terms.

I have even umpired some of my daughters games......not by choice.

I once red carded one of my best friends in a soccer match.......

I could not officiate HS in Galveston or Brazoria County for awhile due to conflicts.....and I went along with that.

I did my HS officiating in another State for a bit.....but now may be making my permanent home back to Texas.

Joel

Boggie Back To Texas

Diving deeper with this - WHY and HOW did you get to be on "beer drinking terms" with them?

I think there's a difference between being friends with a coach, and being friendly with a coach. As Steve pointed out earlier, NCAA wants the latter, not the former. I personally believe that mindset should trickle down to NFHS, and even ASA to a point.

NCAA is an entirely different animal. Even at Div III, you are probably doing a bit of traveling to the game. It is unlikely you are living in the same neighborhood, going to the same church, having kids / grand kids in the same schools with the NCAA coaches. One of the umpires in our association coaches a high school JV team and a summer travel team. Several coaches when my kids were still in school I got to know as parents before we had a coach/umpire relationship. What do I do? Shun them? Ridiculous.

I may be wrong, but I think there's a reasonable expectation that, at the NCAA level, coaches and umpires are pretty separated in terms of interactions away from the field. It's probably rare that a college umpire and a college coach will have any kind of relationship outside of softball.

The same is not necessarily true at the high school and local ASA level. A few of the umpires in my association are high school coaches, and I've seen them at social events involving our association, in the stands at games I've attended as an umpire evaluator or casual spectator, and even at Target or Costco.

I also know a couple of coaches from when my son played high school baseball. Heck, one of his head coaches is now the assistant coach for the high school's softball team. He was also one of my Little League volunteer umpires when I was the District UIC. We've known each other for many years.

So I think the NCAA has the luxury of having a lot more separation between umpires and coaches that is not necessarily present at the more local level with high school and ASA. If the same policy existed, then our umpires who also coach high school teams wouldn't be able to participate in association functions.

News flash folks, there is life beyond softball. And even within softball, many of the HS & college coaches in my area used to be a fellow softball player or umpire. There are a couple that I was the umpire when they were playing baseball as a child. And I've probably had some social interaction, including alcohol, with all of them at one point or another.

A former national ASA UIC was an assistant coach at a DII school and a very popular umpire and clinician. How in the world were they to get an umpire if you sit on this ridiculous notion?