Frustrations
 

Something has been on my mind for some time now, and I have to bring it up. It's been brought up before by others, and in so doing, I've seen some positive changes. But after a few months or so, we're right back where we started. No one's saying it, but it needs to be said. So I'm just going to ****ing say it.

I look at this forum as a kind of "water cooler for umpires." Ideas, both good and bad, can and SHOULD be brought up here for discussion. Sure, it may get tedious to discuss some of the same topics over and over again (OBS vs. INT, LBR, IFF, etc.), but for the vets out there, that's just part of our jobs: to help bring up the new vanguard of our profession. Without new faces, we're left to age in our own sandbox with no one willing to pick up the flag, bringing us to conversations that we're currently having on another thread. We all know this in our own areas in which umpires are getting fewer and fewer in numbers.

Yet quite frequently, I've been noticing a pattern whereby members new to this forum get shot down or even worse: treated with hostility. Most people do not come here expecting a fight, but are sucked into one from the get-go. In the end, after just a few posts, they leave.

Why is this?

Fellow blues, on this forum, our masks and chest protectors should be off, not on. Yeah, we do get some strays here who are simply here to start an online ruckus, but that hasn't been the norm in quite a while.

Over the last 2 years, I'm seeing fewer and fewer new threads per month, and I'm seeing a lot of the same people posting over and over. That tells me that our active membership is going downhill. Ideas and dialog are key to the success of this place, and if we lose sight of that, our numbers will continue to dwindle.

Now, this isn't directed at anyone in particular, as I've fired a few salvos myself. This is simply a reminder of why we're here in the first place: to have excellent discussions over how we officiate the very sport that all of us love: softball.

Let's not lose sight of that.

/RANT

Hear, Hear!

Well said....

And please... Understand that I still look at this forum as a treasure trove of information and experience, one whose opinions and collective accomplishments I respect and value as a fellow umpire.

I just don't want to see new blood get exsanguinated too readily.

No. I wouldn't want to wish any life threatening medical condition on anyone, either. :D

Call me stupid but I had to look this word up. Then I asked my wife to explain it in English since she uses medical terminology in her work for the ND Department of Health.

I would have looked it up too, but I didn't know how to spell it.

Serg

NCASAUmp had it spelled correctly in his OP.:D

It's not just newbies... I've been here a long long time. There are a few veterans here who, when they disagree with you, immediately jump to assuming you're a moron or worse ... a coach. It's gotten worse and worse - to the point that I've posted WAY less than I used to.

I apolgize for my rant.
I am sorry, not my style.
Out

Hal lay lu ya!!!! I've been lurking for years with a post once in a while......and my overall impression.........lots of gud info and interpretations....but also a lot of hostility and over-aggressiveness when some things are asked........a good topic to bring up for sure.....thanks for pointing it out......

John

I have to say, just as an example to support the OP and not to try and beat anyone up, that I felt this specifically to a thread I started somewhat recently in that I was considering softball. I made what I thought was a completely innocent and moderately irrelevant comment regarding softball games being quicker than baseball games and what seemed like half the responses dealt with that comment (mostly in a critical way) rather than the actual questions I was asking. I started to reply with the reasons I had thrown in that little observation (which incidentally are good reasons) but decided that since the responses I got were petty and often ridiculous, why bother.

Hey, my skin's as thick as anyone and I don't hold grudges. I'm not going to give up on the forum, but suggest a model to answer anyone's question when you might have an issue with something else mentioned:

-- use a phrase like, "just as an aside, I'd recommend...", or "I know you didn't really ask this, but just for something to think about regarding..." or something similar
-- say something like, "I don't necessarily agree with ___, and if you want more information on that, I'll be happy to discuss if you want. Otherwise, I'll let it go."

Obviously, errors on rules and the like need to be corrected. Anyway, I'm sure I've been guilty of this on the other forums, so I can't really blame anyone. Its good to see a self cleansing can and does take place around here.

Good suggestions TA...and something we could all stand to remember.

I know that you post regularly on the baseball board and they can be brutal over there, much worse that we are here. Granted, that does not excuse our behavior, but I do think we do a better job of accepting and welcoming newbies.

From the newbies perspective though, they don't know the tone of the boards unless they have lurked for bit prior to posting. We need to be open and welcome new blood as any contributors could have some valuable experiences and insight.

I'm also noticing that the Views:Replies ratio on most of the threads here seems to be around 50:1. That means that for every response to a thread, 49 others are watching. Sounds like we have more lurkers than we may realize.

I see much lower ratios on other forums: 20:1, 30:1...

Just one more cause for concern.

Over the past couple of months, I've done little posting - but I am viewing. Thinking of what I want to post takes enough energy - that I don't have now. Not that I've disappeared completely, but with us having custody, for now, of our 5 & 6 yr old grandkids takes a whole lot more energy now than I remember it doing 25-30 yrs ago. Anyway, I'm one of those increasing the 'views' but not the 'replies'

Spent a long weekend with a 2-year old granddaughter a few weeks ago. OMG can she keep you running (or in my case ... hopping).

This is not the only message board on the world wide web that has this problem. Each message board has its own cadence and context based on previous posts. Therefore, newbies should expect this and use extra caution on the first few posts; and the regulars should give the newbies some latitude until they have shown that they "know the flow".

But, it all comes down to the written word and the numerous ways that it can be MIS-interpreted.

Let me offer a very powerful snippet from sales training:
A single sentence with only 8 words, can mean at least 7 different things. For example: "I did not say he stole the money"

1. Simply stated without emphasis, it is just a statement of fact, but by tonal inflection, the meaning of the sentence changes dramatically.

2. "I did not say he stole the money".
> Somebody else said that he stole the money

3. "I DID NOT say he stole the money.
> A vehement denial

4. "I did not SAY he stole the money"
> I might have implied it, or wrote it down, but I didn't acutally say it.

5. "I did not say HE stole the money."
> It was someone else who stole it.

6. "I did not say he STOLE the money."
> He was just borrowing it, or lost it.

7. "I did not say he stole the MONEY."
> It was the car that he stole.

This is a great exercise for you to do on your own. Keep saying this sentence with emphasis on the appropriate word, so that the meaning of the sentence is crystal clear. Your communication skills will be automatically increased.

Then, try to figure out how to WRITE WHAT YOU MEAN!

For the message board readers, it is probably a good practice to either give the benefit of the doubt, or either ask for clarification/meaning before responding. This will help minimize the dreaded death-sprial.