yeah but I can never remember who vaporizes spock and cuts the head off the lizard and all that stuff...

But it might be fun to say during pregame. :D

Quite simple realy. Fill a very large container with distilled water (you can not use salt water or beer as substitutes). Put in a small boat capable of supporting your weight. Mark the water level before you enter the boat. Enter the boat and mark the water level again. Calculate the volume of water displaced by you in the boat. If the container is rectangular multiply the width by length by height difference of before and after you enter the boat. If the container is round like a very large beaker then it is height difference times ¼ times pi times diameter². If you measured in feet then multiply the results by 62.42796 and that will give you how many pounds that you weigh. If you measured in inches then you should use 0.036127 as the multiplier to get pounds. Formetric and odd shaped containers PM me.

The other option that comes to mind is to go to the circus and ask the amazing Randy to tell you your weight.

In coed slow pitch ball, sometimes we usually let the well-endowed female captain pick home or visitor. Usually the male captain from the other team is too busy staring at the rack to even notice. We umpires are sometimes counting our cash and wondering the price. :D

I once had a catcher with an absolutely GORGEOUS rack in coed SP, and she often wore spandex while behind the plate. During her pitcher's warm-ups, she said to me, "you're so lucky."

Me: Why's that?

Catcher: Because you get to stare at my fabulous *** all game.

Me (mentally): It ain't that fabulous, honey. Turn around, and I'll enjoy your fabulousness.

Should read:

Dave: Why's that?

Catcher: Because you get to stare at my fabulous *** all game.

Dave: Ball

Catcher: Didn't you see that? Wasn't it a strike?

Dave: Don't know, I was looking at your fabulous ***.

And if the batter is looking at the rack, call all the strikes you want! :D

We used to do the "clean and sober league" here.

Among others, we had some strippers. I remember, six years later, this one catcher in particular. The formulae for figuring out weights, specific gravity and water displacement comes to mind. Not that she was heavy, mind you, but them coughsufferers were much more than a mouthful and she didn't wear a whole heckuva lot when she wasn't a stripper.

At the end of the third inning, she turned around and shook my hand.

"I've got to go now, but I wanted to thank you for not drooling on my shoulder."

It wasn't that fabulous! Girl coulda lost about 30 pounds first. Then, it'd probably be fabulous.