Political Rhetoric

[greymule]

Why are the people of this country so enamored of "tags"?

Because it allows them to distinguish the good people, like them, from their moral inferiors, like people who don't agree with them; the oppressors from the victims; the enlightened from the benighted; the people who should pay higher taxes from the people who should receive more from government; the aliens who should be allowed to pour over our borders by the millions from the aliens who should be hunted down and deported; the superstitious who believe they have an immortal soul from the rational who know that humans are just monkeys who got to thinking they're special. Tags are also a big help in determining how many points should be added to your test score when you apply to college, how many of your group should be promoted at work, and who's at fault in a fistfight.

One Ivy League professor finds tags useful in determining grades. Referring to a certain "tagged" group, the professor said, "I give 'em all A's. To he11 with them."

Tags also serve as convenient shortcuts to knowledge. They can help determine whether publicly displaying a religious book in a toilet is art or a hate crime, and whether the use of a particular term or phrase is cause for being forced to attend a sensitivity seminar. And if a woman claims she was raped by three men, people who understand the importance and significance of tags can determine what happened not by wasting time seeking facts, but simply by examining the tags. Poor black female prostitute accuses three rich white male lacrosse players? That's a no-brainer. Just ask the New York Times and the learned faculty of any prestigious university.

The useful tag of "sex offender," especially under its recently expanded definition, permitted last year the arrest and orange-jumpsuit-chaining of some dangerous seventh-grade boys and girls caught participating in a game of slap-a$$. (Too bad for the zero-intelligence prosecutor that the court wasn't up to date on that particular tag.) Tags separate the admirable (Alger Hiss) from the despicable (Robert E. Lee).

The p.c. crowd—quite a large and influential group these days—knows that tags tell them all they really need to know. Tags are essential.

Incidentally, I like the term American, as long as it's not preceded by a hyphen. I notice that it's one tag the p.c. crowd hates.