Steve, I wish you could have heard one of the local league pitchers this past Monday night. This twit kept asking me what the count was after he had thrown only one pitch to each of the batter's he asked about. Needless to say I had to have a little chat with him at the end of the half inning...and he allegedly "didn't mean to"...

I wanted to shoot him after the third one.

Assuming this is adult slow pitch.

Him: "What's the count, blue?"

Me: "One ball since the last time you asked", or, if a 1-1 league,
"One ball from the starting count."

When his teammates get done laughing at him, and he gets done trying to glare at me, maybe he will get the point.

To those of you who know me as a die-hard fast pitch only umpire, I have umpired some men's and coed slow pitch this past week (16 games so far) to help out a colleague who had a string of umpire scheduling issues, at a program that I used to schedule the umpires for, way back. It's been 7 years or so since I have done any real competitive slowpitch (see ancedote below), so I want to state that I have enjoyed it, although I also remember why I mostly gave it up (well, the obvious, plus that my group splintered off from another group, based on a desire of that splinter to do only fastpitch). All in all, a pleasant reminder that it isn't devil worship, just a different game that I enjoy a bit less, overall.

The anecdote is that I have called a handful (10 or 20) of slowpitch games in recent years, but ...... It is a "noncompetitive" (their term) lawyers league that plays an entire season with 40 teams or so without umpires. They get to a single elimination end of season tournament, and, starting around the quarterfinals, decide they want "an umpire". The guy who runs the league coaches a travel team, so he calls me. As far as I am concerned, it is the greatest gig in the world, but not really calling slowpitch. Because, 1) they don't want balls and strikes called (they just wait and hit the pitches they want), 2) just fair/foul, safe/out, and rules if needed, 3) 1:15 time limit, 4) it is sort-of coed, must have two women batting in the first ten and two playing defensively every inning, 5) it is a beer league, 6) they supply me with beer during the game, too, 7) the coed's serve the beer (smart on their part), and 8) it's $40 a game, cash!! What a great time; just not really calling slowpitch.

:D Yeah, but do they have liability insurance that will cover you when some putz hits a foul ball that knocks the can of beer out of your hand and you smack him up alongside the head for wasting beer?:D

Don't need to smack him upside the head, just call another strike on him! :p :D If he asks how you can justify a strike for it, tell him the beer strike rule! :rolleyes: :p :D