Fans
 

Maybe the stupidest thing; "C'mon blue, call 'em (pitches) both ways!"


In the TOP of the first inning!

Coach yells, "Come on, Blue - you're missing a good game."
Fan (who I learn later umpires elsewhere) on HIS side yells, "He knows, coach, but they sent him here instead."

I HAVE to remember that one....very usable during a game...:D

Related to this one....I was watching a buddy of mine work a D1 game at the full stadium of a highly ranked team.

First pitch of the game is just enough off the plate that my buddy calls a ball.
A fan about three rows behind me stands up and yells:

"C'mon, Blue......BE CONSISTENT!"

I'm the PU - Pitcher for team A is throwing an awesome drop ball, breaking right above the knee. She's consistantly hitting the same spot, I'm consistantly ringing it up, and the batters are consistantly striking out.

About the 6th inning, the 1st base coach for Team B is frustrated. Batter strikes out, he yells at me "Come on, blue! That pitch is un-hittable!"

Team A pitching coach, sitting on a bucket outside the 1B dugout, right next to Team B coach: "Why do you think I'm tellin her to throw it, coach?"

I about lost it laughing! :D

Three favorites:

"Lenscrafters called. They'll be ready in 30 minutes."

"Found your cell phone, Blue. It's got three missed calls."

(While sweeping the plate between innings) "As long as you're there, Blue, flip that thing over and read the directions."

For a very comprehensive list of heckles go to:

http://www.heckledepot.com/

I had a game a few weeks ago that a fan was singing songs about wach of the girls and the coaches. he had gone to the web site and made up parodies of popular(classic) rock songs about each of the opposing players. I was glad I had my Head tube on so that it could hide my face and the smile he was bringing to my face with each new rendition.:D

I picked this up on eteamz today. A player's dad (or coach) said:

"I've only questioned an umpire's ability to see twice and both times, their guide dog bit me."

An umpire came back with: "Good doggie!"

WMB

I'm plate umpire working the slot and I hear
someone behind me yell--
"get behind the catcher so you can see the ball" !!
I just shook my head.

A big favorite
 

this happened Sunday (3/4) Coach comes up to me between innings. I am the HP umpire.

"Hey blue, their pitcher is really leapin' on every pitch. Can you guys watch her?"

"You bet, coach!"

It was all I could do to keep from laughing at the guy...or not give him a sarcastic comeback.

His team is ahead 12-0 after 3 innings. The pitcher he's complaining about has walked about 800 batters. Every strike she has thrown has been sent back out as a line drive for extra bases.

And she's leapin'!

Hey Blue, I thought only horses slept standing up.

Yeah. Isn't it amazing the effects a game this bad can have on people? Heck, even the players are sleeping standing up!

Not so, coaches do too.

God vs satan
 

satan is bored one day and goes up to see God and asks him "Hey you, you want to play a game of Softball?" God just smirks... satan says "Hey why you smirking?" God replies "I'm smiling because nobody has ever told you that all the great Softballers end up in Heaven!" The Devil then breaks into a massive smile ... God retorts "What you smiling at?" satan looks at God and say's "Hell, you obviuosly don't know that I have all the great Umpires" .. :cool:

Off the original subject but in line with the last post by uk I was at an ASA advanced clinician was Kevin Ryan some guys got him to talking and he said in his southern draw "well I have always said, we umpires-- it don't matter if we go down there or up there (pointing down then up) chances are we gonna know some people"

Fans
 

Hay Blue, get off uour knees you just blew that last call, a game winning play at home plate that the fan had against his team to loose a great game 4 - 3.

In a tense game, a batter was called out, a decision with which he obviously disagreed.
He paced up and down outside the field until the umpires came out.
'I wasn't out, you know,' he said to the umpire.
'Oh, no? Look in the paper tomorrow!' said the umpire.

----------------

In a local match, the umpire was being jeered and heckled unmercifully from the crowd.
At length he walked over to the boundary and sat down next to his chief critic.
" What are you doing?" asked the spectator.
" Well," said the umpire,"it seems you get the best view from here."


Fun at the ole' ball park!

My favorite fan comment of all time came after I ran a manager for continuing to complain about a call that happened the inning before.

Once the manager walked off the field, one of his fans yelled "Oh come on blue don't take it out on the kids because you never weren't[sic] any good." Shucks, I always thought I was a pretty decent catcher too. :o

I was on the bases for boys' H.S. jr. varsity baseball game with the leadoff batter up to bat. The pitcher, for some reason, started to pitch fromt the set position, and then wanted to change to the windup in the middle of his pitiching motion. The batter's fans were screaming for a balk to be called.

MTD, Sr.

1. This is a softball board.
2. WTF is a "back"?

1) I umpire both H.S. boys' baseball and H.S. girls' fastpitch softball.

2) I went back and edited my post to correct the spelling of balk.

MTD, Sr.

Mark you should've obliged them and advanced the ghost runners. :D

I'm working single man mechanics - fastpitch. Pitch comes in, batter moves her hands toward pitch, but not a swing, and I call a ball on the pitch. Fans moan, coach asks the catcher to ask me to ask for help. I walk five feet in front of home plate, take off my mask point to my (invisible) partner and ask, "Did she go?" I then turned around, gave the safe signal and stated "No!" It sure lightened everyone up.

You know I hate that one.

Thats a good way to start it off bad.

LOL... Just another reason to say there's nothin' like fun at the ole' ball park.
I hope I get to do that same thing some day. ..Al

There was this close play at 2nd, I called the runner safe. This little old lady starts ranting about the runner being out "by a mile." One of the girls on the offensive team yell to the stands, "Grandma she's on our team." "Oh, good call."