I have a new one from coach
 

Coaches generally chirping in first inning that pitcher is pitching illegally. This pitcher is REALLY bad, getting no help from her legs and basically using all arm to try to aim the ball in. REALLY painful to watch, and I know this is going to be a walkfest. But coaches keep going.

Finally he calls time and asks to speak to me.

Wants an illegal pitch called because pitcher is not pushing off. Rules say she must push off from the pitcher's plate. She's not pushing off at all. Must be illegal!

Whatever.

Did he also point out that she must drag her foot? :p

A new one for me this past week:

DII College, lower quality team, 2 umpire system with runners on 1st and 3rd, less than 2 outs. Fly ball to left field, I am PU. I call the out, see the runner at third tag and touch the plate. Coach appeals leaving early at third. I call the runner safe. Coach asks me to get help from my partner. I explain this is not an option. She tells me, "In Florida they told me you had to go for help if I asked you to.":confused: I explain that is only for a checked swing. She reiterates what happened in Florida. I rebut, "Coach, what happens in Florida, stays in Florida.":) She thanked me graciously for doing my job to her satisfaction and we moved on.

Maybe you should haven given here directions to the nearest airport which has an airline which flys to Florida :)