Lighter side

[Steve M]

Here's another real but lighter side tale. Years ago I somehow ended up with a women's game - til then I only did men's fast pitch. Anyway, I've got the plate and during the game there's a batter who fouls the ball off of her leg. I throw both hands up (like I've got a good field goal) and holler "Dead ball. Got 'er in the box." Very calmly - and I think cruelly - the batter turned to me and said "No, Mr Ump. That ball hit me on the leg." Only then did I realize what I had said. I was kinda useless for about 5 minutes - and they coulda called me "Red" for a while after that. Now, I just holler "Dead ball".