Mechanic on no safe or out call

[mcrowder]

The book tells us that when, in a play at the plate, the runner misses the base, but is not tagged, we signal a safe call so as to not tip off either team about the missed base. (This seems to look much better than the old "standard", if ever it was a standard, of making no call - I think ump looks clueless when he's just standing there making no out or safe call).

However, what about the sliding play at the plate where there's no tag and the runner never gets to the base.

Last night, runner coming home on a passed ball, pitcher covering. Pitcher catches ball (no obstruction), turns to tag - trainwreck, and the ball comes loose. Runner is sitting there, 1 leg forward, a good 4 inches short of the plate. Pitcher was knocked down , sitting between the runner and the plate, and the ball lands right by her. She sits there, showing me possession of the ball in her bare hand, repeatedly tagging the runner's leg with her glove, looking at me waiting for a call. Runner is making no attempt to move at all. They literally sit there for a good solid 5 seconds.

Obviously, I have no out, but not safe at home yet either. Apparently lacking the fortitude to continue staring at them making no call, I say - loud enough for pitcher and runner to hear, and without signaling anything - "She's not out." Pitcher walks away in disgust, runner goes to the dugout (without ever touching home).

2 questions - 1) should I have said anything, signaled safe, or just continued to stare? 2) When defensive coach comes out to complain, how much can I share with him. I obviously can't tell him she never touched - they can STILL appeal, so how would you have explained this to him.

My actual explanation was something like, "Coach - she never tagged her - she had the ball in one hand and tagged with the glove." and left it at that... but there was more. The rest of the story later.