Youth football - coach speak

[jchamp]

Originally Posted by mbcrowder

Football's worse than the other 3 sports. I love rules like "Linebackers cannot blitz". WTF is that? I had one that said, "Holding will be scrutinized by the official." That's a rule? LOL. Yes, coach, I saw the holding ... and I scrutinized it real good. Another said tackles and guards may only shadow-block. With no definition of shadow-blocking and no inclusion of the center or any tight ends, etc. Another in the Linebackers Can't Blitz league said, and I quote, "Ball-carriers may only reverse field if necessary." I kid you not. (And of course ... no proscribed penalty should we decide a ball-carrier reversed field unnecessarily!) Crazy crazy stuff.

I've got one here that says "Blocking is done with palms up and arms extended." Says nothing about which direction you can extend your arms. I'll assume blockers can't clothes-line someone, even if he keeps his palms up.

Another says "Officials will ensure that blockers are not overly aggressive." That's it. No penalty, I've just got to ensure it doesn't happen.

In one that says it goes by NFHS, they have added, "A player may not throw a pass out of bounds or into the ground to avoid being tackled. This will be a 5 yard penalty and a loss of down."

Then, for a flag league, "While carrying the ball, if any receiver or runner who loses his flag, the ball is dead at the spot where the flag is lost." Two pages later, they re-iterate, "If the receiver loses his flag before catching the ball, the ball is dead at the spot where the receiver’s flags fell off." Aside from the botched grammar, I now have the joy of awarding A a catch for no gain if the receiver runs 20 yards down field for a catch but dropped his flag at the LOS. At least it's in the rules twice, so I can give the coach the choice of which rule he wants to complain to the league about.

But my personal favorite: "A punt is declared dead after the ball is touched by a defensive player. The receiving team may pick the ball up and advance if it touches the ground."
W
T
F
!?

But at least according to this league, "Officials have the authority to banish any person(s) who is interfering with the game, displaying unsportsmanlike conduct, or is under the influence of drugs or alcohol."