Got any good quotes?
 

From Friday night. Coach addressing an official: "Why do we have our long gains always called back?" Official: "Because your kids are always holding."

I should have said, "You've had some short gains called back, too."

Huh?
 

During our pre-game Friday, one coach advised us of this one: Defensive player lined up over that ball, Coach is asking the LJ if it is offsides. LJ's response: "Not now that you are telling me it is." This repeated for two plays. Coach stopped asking for the offsides on the third play and the LJ called the penalty.

Found a kid in a high school game here in WI on Friday night with a tinted visor/shield on his helmet.

Got the response you've all come to enjoy over the years...

"He's got a medical release for it..."

Then got everyone's favorite after we told them no such thing exists.

"Well.....they didn't say anything last week...."

Same team also tried pushing the "kicking ball" on us...specifically for FG's and EP's.

Classic.

I was working the box with a complete rookie on his first ever game in stripes (has college and a brief NFL playing career) working as HL in a Freshman game. After a couple of normal rookie mistakes, the coach has been getting furious and finally shouts "you're the worst official in the world!" Our rookie pauses for a moment, turns and looks right at him and says, "Yes coach, I am, and I'm the best one on your sideline."

:)

Honestly, if you've not ever been 'the worst official in the history of football', you haven't done enough games yet.

I got my W.O.W. award for football during my second season around the time of Ed Hochuli's infamous IW against the Chargers. It was coincidentally the next weekend that I had my second and last IW. Near the end of the game, the coach had calmed down and politely asked me what my name is, I responded "Ed Hochuli". He was halfway through asking me how I spell that when he got the joke.

We had a game last year with the score 56 - 0 in the 3rd. After a kick off with his team down, the coach claps his hands and says "OK boys, let's make some memories"!!!

Same game same coach, 1st & 10 from the 15 for the other team. I hear the coach clear as a bell, look my right and he is on the 5 yard line talking to his defense. I asked him, "coach where are you supposed to be?"

I love first time coaches.

Yesterday. Youth game.

After handing the ball to the kicker, I head over to my sideline and am greeted by the head coach who has the following request: "Keep it fair today".

I respond (with a straight face), "Sorry, coach. You lost the coin toss in the parking lot. You're getting screwed today."

:)

Heard a good one this week. JH game. A team is getting beat by 40 points. That team's offensive line is blown up. I see 5 B shirts in the backfield making the tackle on the poor running back. After the play is over one of the offensive linemen tell me, "You wanna watch the holding?" OK, I shouldn't laugh out loud but I did.

This is not the coach's quote as he was just a dumbfounded...

Me - "You have a tinted visor, it needs to go"

Player - "It's one of those that turns tinted in the bright light"

Me - "Who cares, and by bright light, you mean the light from the lights barely lighting the field?"

Later in the game, flags the same kid for Unsportsmanlike conduct.

Coach - "What were you doing out there?"

Player - "I was doing my Ray Lewis over the guy I tackled."

Home coach before game. "They're setting up their camera on top of the press box. Can they do that?"
Ref: "That's not up to us. Talk to the AD."
Coach: "Okay."
Coach starts walking away.......
Coach stops and looks back: "Hey, I'm the AD."

After delay penalty, coach calls time out to complain.
Coach: "You blew it ready at 1:38 and it's only at 1:12. How can that be delay?"
Ref: "38 minus 25 equals 13."
Coach: (laughing as he walks off the field) "And I'm a math teacher!"

Just last Friday, the ball was being held for a measurement on the home team side line at the 34 yard line tick mark. The front stake on the other side of the field is also on the 34 yard line tick mark.

The home team coach asked if we thought it was a first down or not. Half in jest I tell the coach it depends how evenly they drew the hash marks. He said, "Well if it not a first down, that guy's getting fired."

It was a first down by about a half inch.

Oh yeah... almost forgot...

I actually had an oldie but a goody just a couple of weeks ago, in a game already plagued with penalties.

Player (yelling to team mate): Don't worry about it. These g**d*** referees won't throw their flags for anything.

We obliged.

Jr. high football game head coach comes up to me and ask if they kick it on p.a.t. if it counts as 1 point or 2. I just shook my head and walked away.

The largest youth league in my area gives two for a kick and one if they score a TD on a try to encourage development of a kicking game.

I never have been. But I have made "the worst ever!" a bunch of times!! :D

I can't remember if I posted this before...

A's line is getting eaten alive. After 3 TFL on their first series and 2 TFL on the second they call a timeout, coach comes out and he asks, what is going? what are they doing? One of the O lineman said, "They're doing some weird stuff coach."

We were working a couple of smaller schools and one coach and his staff had a pretty poor reputation for their behavior. That particular night was no different. After a couple of calls didn't go his way, he hollered to me, 'The way you ref, that's why you are working in 'such and such' town,' as if this small town had rotten football despite its state championships noted on their scoreboard and we couldn't get better assignments. I looked over to him and said, 'well coach, I'm not sure what it means but you as the AD thought we were good enough to work at your place in a couple of weeks.'

About half of the Jr High leagues around here do the same thing. I make it a point to ask each coach before the game if that's the case for this game or not.

I was working a wing and a call went against my sideline. The head coach came over to me and asked me if I was sure we made the right call and enforcement.

I said, "yes, coach". He asked my how I knew. I said "I know because I read the rule book last night" and he said "well, as long as it was last night".

I had the misfortune to have the same team two weeks in a row. The pregame meeting started like this.

Me: "How are you doing today coach?"

Coach: "Are you going to let my QB get killed again this week?"

The meeting went downhill from there.

That'll teach you not to start with: "we expect good sportsmanship today..."
:D

You: "Talk to your O-line about that, coach" :cool:

Last Thursday I had a JV coach screaming in my ear for five plays in a row about why I wasn't throwing flags for illegal formation on the other team's offense. I keep on checking the backfield, checking with my partner, can't see anything wrong with it and finally ask him what he means.
"There's only three players in the backfield! They can't do that, it means they have 8 on the line!"

*Facepalm*

During a timeout, I learn that he wasn't counting the quarterback, since "He was closer to the line than the tackles."

*Double facepalm*

Praise God for JV coaches. Where else could we get such lines?!:p

Last Night. A's coach: "That must have been a facemask foul (it wasn't, open hands on the sides of helmet), he almost got his head torn off!"
I couldn't help it. "Getting your head torn off isn't necessarily a foul. Grasping the face mask is, He didn't!.... Third down."