Got any good quotes?
 

From Friday night. Coach addressing an official: "Why do we have our long gains always called back?" Official: "Because your kids are always holding."

I should have said, "You've had some short gains called back, too."

Huh?
 

During our pre-game Friday, one coach advised us of this one: Defensive player lined up over that ball, Coach is asking the LJ if it is offsides. LJ's response: "Not now that you are telling me it is." This repeated for two plays. Coach stopped asking for the offsides on the third play and the LJ called the penalty.

Found a kid in a high school game here in WI on Friday night with a tinted visor/shield on his helmet.

Got the response you've all come to enjoy over the years...

"He's got a medical release for it..."

Then got everyone's favorite after we told them no such thing exists.

"Well.....they didn't say anything last week...."

Same team also tried pushing the "kicking ball" on us...specifically for FG's and EP's.

Classic.

I was working the box with a complete rookie on his first ever game in stripes (has college and a brief NFL playing career) working as HL in a Freshman game. After a couple of normal rookie mistakes, the coach has been getting furious and finally shouts "you're the worst official in the world!" Our rookie pauses for a moment, turns and looks right at him and says, "Yes coach, I am, and I'm the best one on your sideline."

:)

Honestly, if you've not ever been 'the worst official in the history of football', you haven't done enough games yet.

I got my W.O.W. award for football during my second season around the time of Ed Hochuli's infamous IW against the Chargers. It was coincidentally the next weekend that I had my second and last IW. Near the end of the game, the coach had calmed down and politely asked me what my name is, I responded "Ed Hochuli". He was halfway through asking me how I spell that when he got the joke.

We had a game last year with the score 56 - 0 in the 3rd. After a kick off with his team down, the coach claps his hands and says "OK boys, let's make some memories"!!!

Same game same coach, 1st & 10 from the 15 for the other team. I hear the coach clear as a bell, look my right and he is on the 5 yard line talking to his defense. I asked him, "coach where are you supposed to be?"

I love first time coaches.

Yesterday. Youth game.

After handing the ball to the kicker, I head over to my sideline and am greeted by the head coach who has the following request: "Keep it fair today".

I respond (with a straight face), "Sorry, coach. You lost the coin toss in the parking lot. You're getting screwed today."

:)

Heard a good one this week. JH game. A team is getting beat by 40 points. That team's offensive line is blown up. I see 5 B shirts in the backfield making the tackle on the poor running back. After the play is over one of the offensive linemen tell me, "You wanna watch the holding?" OK, I shouldn't laugh out loud but I did.

This is not the coach's quote as he was just a dumbfounded...

Me - "You have a tinted visor, it needs to go"

Player - "It's one of those that turns tinted in the bright light"

Me - "Who cares, and by bright light, you mean the light from the lights barely lighting the field?"

Later in the game, flags the same kid for Unsportsmanlike conduct.

Coach - "What were you doing out there?"

Player - "I was doing my Ray Lewis over the guy I tackled."

Home coach before game. "They're setting up their camera on top of the press box. Can they do that?"
Ref: "That's not up to us. Talk to the AD."
Coach: "Okay."
Coach starts walking away.......
Coach stops and looks back: "Hey, I'm the AD."

After delay penalty, coach calls time out to complain.
Coach: "You blew it ready at 1:38 and it's only at 1:12. How can that be delay?"
Ref: "38 minus 25 equals 13."
Coach: (laughing as he walks off the field) "And I'm a math teacher!"

Just last Friday, the ball was being held for a measurement on the home team side line at the 34 yard line tick mark. The front stake on the other side of the field is also on the 34 yard line tick mark.

The home team coach asked if we thought it was a first down or not. Half in jest I tell the coach it depends how evenly they drew the hash marks. He said, "Well if it not a first down, that guy's getting fired."

It was a first down by about a half inch.

Oh yeah... almost forgot...

I actually had an oldie but a goody just a couple of weeks ago, in a game already plagued with penalties.

Player (yelling to team mate): Don't worry about it. These g**d*** referees won't throw their flags for anything.

We obliged.

Jr. high football game head coach comes up to me and ask if they kick it on p.a.t. if it counts as 1 point or 2. I just shook my head and walked away.

The largest youth league in my area gives two for a kick and one if they score a TD on a try to encourage development of a kicking game.