special equipment for umpires

[Lintner5]

I wish we had a picture because I'm having trouble envisioning a device that shoots the Snickers Egg from the Umpire's belt to his mouth. Since the belt cannot be seen from the Umpire's mouth by line-of-sight, does the shooter extend out far enough to establish a direct path or does it use the Umpire's stomach's gravitational pull to provide an orbital path to the mouth?

Also, has a Snickers patch been considered or would the lack of caramel in the Umpire's mouth make foul reporting too articulate?

[Jim S]

Originally Posted by Lintner5

I wish we had a picture because I'm having trouble envisioning a device that shoots the Snickers Egg from the Umpire's belt to his mouth. Since the belt cannot be seen from the Umpire's mouth by line-of-sight, does the shooter extend out far enough to establish a direct path or does it use the Umpire's stomach's gravitational pull to provide an orbital path to the mouth?
Uses a curved arm piece that is custom made for size....
Also, has a Snickers patch been considered or would the lack of caramel in the Umpire's mouth make foul reporting too articulate?

Say, could this be the reason the NFL guys have started using hand signals????

[Bob M.]

REPLY: Jim...I think maybe the time has come to add some new features to the Snickers Shooter. How about a GPS receiver so that when the umpire re-spots the ball after an incomplete pass, a female voice with a sultry British accent says, "Other hash, dummy."

[Jim S]

Originally Posted by Bob M.

REPLY: Jim...I think maybe the time has come to add some new features to the Snickers Shooter. How about a GPS receiver so that when the umpire re-spots the ball after an incomplete pass, a female voice with a sultry British accent says, "Other hash, dummy."

Nah, We're already working on an addition to the wrist band that uses similar technology. It remembers the previous spot and then reacts after any whistle with a locator system that guides the U to the proper spot. The hang-up is the voice recognition system that listens to the R's penalty options and guides the U in marching off the penalties in the correct direction...

[Welpe]

Originally Posted by Jim S

The hang-up is the voice recognition system that listens to the R's penalty options and guides the U in marching off the penalties in the correct direction...

Let us know how the feature that bails the R out of giving a wrong penalty option goes.

[Jim S]

Originally Posted by Welpe

Let us know how the feature that bails the R out of giving a wrong penalty option goes.

That's the hangup... It keeps saying "He said WHAT???"