Your commitment to the game, HS and NCAA
 

I have a good discussion topic for you guys. I come across a lot of guys who have problems getting to meetings, can only do a specific number of games a week, etc. All this because of their significant other.

I can only speak for myself, but my wife if my biggest fan, and totally supports me not being home for 4 months out of the year. Regardless of the night, day, or how much time. We even postpone our anniversary until football season is over.

I mention this because I am looking to get into the college game within 2-4 years, and I expect to be gone from Friday at noon, until Sunday at noon (probably much less). And my wife does not see this as an issue.

How can other guys move up to the college level if their significant other constantly rides them to be home, and thats only at the HS level? I would have to think football caused a few divorces, or guys gave up on the college level.

It takes a good supportive wife to be fully committed to officiating. Never sacrifice your marriage just to officiate. Family should always come first. My wife is 100% supportive of what I do. Perhaps it is the extra money that keeps supporting my "hobby".

Well said, I think if your wife isnt on board..... forget it!

This coming fall should be interesting, this will be my first fall working both HS and college level. Some of the travel for my Saturday games includes a four or five hour drive, one way! That will certainly make for one long day!! At this point in time we don't have any children but plan on starting a family soon. I think that's when thing really heat up- having a family and officiating.

This spring I asked this same type of question to guys that have been working D2, as well as other officals at higher levels, the one common thing from all of them is be sure you're taking care of her and your family. Family comes first, regardless. I know I forget that from time to time in pursuit of my goals.

Another thing they said is that their game fees go straight into another bank account. One guy puts all the money into his son's college fund at the end of the year, another guy it pays for trips or a piece of jewlery for his wife. That way he can always use that as leverage (as sad as that sounds).

This maybe off your subject but we always get guys in our association as "cadets" and get a ton of sub-varsity and pop-warner assignments that Varsity guys can't do. So, they get set with 30-40 games and don't make meetings or cadet classes and forget about taking that written test. Then they come up with I can't make the meetings because of work. But they have no problem making 30-40 games!

I work real hard at making football work having a wife and two girls ages 3 and 6. The wife supports me working high school ball but wanted me to give up midgets. I just applied to college and will hopefully be accepted after the 2006 season. Those all-day Saturdays will be a whole new ballgame.

It sometimes gets "old" as she puts it but I need to focus totally 115% on family during the week and not talk about football or work. And, during the off season when she wants to go out, let her go!

A few weeks ago I received an e-mail with the subject line...."We're meeting to meet BonJovi in a suite at the Soul game tonight."

I thought "cool, a Friday night at the soul game." Then I read the body of the message. "We" is her and a girlfriend and they had free, open bar, etc. in a suite on a Friday night to watch the Philadelphia Soul. I had to take the girls to a movie. My response...."hey, you don't mind me doing fooball. NO problem!"

It's about working through it together.

We I was a kid, my father worked high school and college ball and he was really not around much during the football season. It was something I had to think long and hard about when my kids were young.

Officialting not only takes time away from your spouse but, especially if you work college ball, you will miss a lot of weekends in the fall with your kids. It can make for some very tough choices.

I wanted to start officiating HS football 15 years ago but with 2 little kids it just wasn't practical for me. Once my son was done playing, I immediately got my license. I do have to schedule around my daughter's HS volleyball games which takes away doing as many lower level games as I'd like.

My spouse is very supportive. In return, since I started officiating, I try to take her out to lunch during the week. I only do football but the lunches go year round as much as my work schedule permits. With all the kids' activities and my work schedule, the lunch break is just that ... a good break from all the chaos!

My spouse was the one who encouraged me to get into officiating, so ... I suppose that gives me some leeway. I try to work as many games as possible and she is pretty understanding.

Family needs to come first. That means different things to different families.

This makes my 13th (oooh!) season of FB
 

I started out calling Little League baseball and some of the umpires were also FB officials and they asked me to try. I did both for seven years but when my son was born, my wife told me to pick one sport and live with it. Since I found myself beginning to hate baseball about district tournament time and hate the fact that football season was over, I stuck with FB.

This season will be interesting as my mother, who was our "on-demand" sitter, recently passed away. I'm also planning a HS class reunion which may knock me out of a Friday nite game. I'm getting the feeling that I might miss some games this year.

My wife continues to be my biggest fan. She's so supportive, went to the NFLRA camp, stayed in Orlando while I drove to Sarasota each day. I could not ask for anyone to be my best supporter than her. I think I will buy her something really nice this weekend.

With this little discussion, lets do that for our wives. This is the one time of year that my officiating is less, just after baseball. It's JUNE 1, football meetings start next month. I have one camp this month, and little league post season soon. I challenge each of you who have responded to this thread to do something good for your wife this weekend.

I don't mean let her prepare the salad, set out the plates, prepare the meat for grilling, bring you the plate of marinated meat to grill and you finally getting up and putting them on the grill. It does not mean after dinner, you set back down and she cleans up the table, prepares the scraps for you dog and feed your dog nor for her to wash and dry then put up all the dishes either!

This will be a good thing... Have fun and cannot see what some of you do this weekend.

The reality to this discussion is not everyone is married with children. So everyone that officiates are not dealing with the same issues of family as they move up the ladder or decide when or when not to work a game. Also everyone does not have small children or the constant need to be home from a wife or spouse. This issue is so complicated we will never be able to fully agree or see this through the set of eyes. I am single and any woman I have dated knows what I do as an official. So in my case the girlfriend that I have right now (we have been together for 6 years) knew me already as an official. I do not have to fight her and issues of games. When we do have conflict between us it is never about officiating a game. I also involve her with events that deal with officiating and she is fully on board with what I am doing. If I do get married to this person she knows what I am all about as it relates to officiating. I was doing this long before I met her and this is not something I am just going to give up overnight.

Also football is not the same commitment that the other sports are that I currently work. Football is pretty much on the weekends and in some cases a very short season as compared to other sports as well, it should not be that difficult to get your spouse, girlfriend or significant other on board. I know officials that use the money to put directly into children's college funds. I know officials that use the money to pay for trips for their family. I know officials that use the money for gifts for Christmas and other special events. They do whatever they have to do so their family sees the benefits of officiating in their lives.

The bottom line is to communicate to the people whoever is in your life and try to get them on board. If you cannot do that, then you will have to decide what is more important in your life. I would hope that any relationship would allow you some personal things in your life and goals outside of that relationship. For some people fishing or hunting or golfing is what gets their juices going. For many here it is officiating. It is one thing to have some Saturdays during the fall as compared working every day of the week getting $50 here and $40 there.

Peace

Support
 

Wre in the same boat. I make sure that football is incorporated into things we do so she likes it as well. I take her to clinics with me at the shore, and took her to Florida last year for the Pop Warner SB. She loved it, and wants to go this year as well.