Funniest things you've ever heard

[James Neil]

Youth game Saturday. As a pile-up over on my sideline was heading back to mid-field I see (and everyone else on A’s sideline) an A player deliberately try to knee a B player as he was walking away. I say ”HEY”! And toss my flag. The kid looks at me and says “what?” . I said “you know what, and your lucky I’m not ejecting you”. I go report a dead ball PF and head back to my sideline. Coach says “what was that for? I said “ you going to tell me you didn’t see that?” He says “ well he only did it because he was being held “

[bluezebra]

"Coach: (begins to yell at the other officials) see, see your other official here didn't see the penalty. You guys are cheating us!

FLAG. 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.

"Coach: Why arn't you watching the play then, are you trying to play some game with me...I'll go N**ger on you on this field"

FLAG. 15 yards, EJECTION.

Bob

[alabamabluezebra]

The offense breaks the huddle with ten players as the eleventh player (left tackle) runs onto the field. The defensive coach starts yelling "illegal substitution, they broke the huddle with ten players".

[JamesBond]

Originally posted by alabamabluezebra
The offense breaks the huddle with ten players as the eleventh player (left tackle) runs onto the field. The defensive coach starts yelling "illegal substitution, they broke the huddle with ten players".

Maybe they created a player vacancy first.

007

[ChuckElias]

Originally posted by Tbone
Reverse play

Me: Coach, #2 holding
Coach: What number?
Me: #2
Coach: #2 is the quarterback, he can't be called for holding!!!!!!!!
Me: He can if he is a blocker on a reverse
Coach: (a few second pause)...I hate that play.

That's my favorite one so far. I ref basketball and only lurk here, but if you guys don't mind, I'll share my funniest exchange with a fan. You have to remember that basketball fans sit right next to the court, unlike football fans. Anyway. . .

I was working a very competitive boys varsity game and the gym was pretty full. In the first half, tho, I could hear one woman's voice at certain times. When I would take my Trail position during free throws (2-man game), I would back up toward the sideline opposite the table. Almost every time, I would hear, "Hey ref, move", "Ref, move over", "Ref, move it, I can't see". This happened several times, until right before halftime she says "Hey ref, move your fat @ss!" I didn't reply at all. Merely continued on until halftime.

Second half, I decided to find out who it was. So every time I was trail during free throws, I stood on a different spot, trying to see if she'd pipe up. Sure enough, about 4 minutes left in the game, I heard her, "C'mon ref, move over!" FINALLY!

I took two steps straight back until I was directly in front of her. She put up a hand to hold me off so I didn't fall in her lap. She was sort of handchecking me. I thought to myself "Ha ha, I gotcha."

As I started back up the court after the second free throw, I turned around very quickly to at least see who it was that had been talking to me. I see the lady sitting there and she says, with a wicked smile "Ref. . . I had my hand on your @ss!"

I almost busted out laughing right on the court. Probably one of the funniest things that's happened to me during a game.

[Simbio]

I was doing little league once and made an obvious pass interference call. As I came back to my sideline (who the penalty was on) both the coaches and the parent's were yelling at me that that wasn't pass interference since the pass was uncatchable. I turned to them all and said "That's only in college." The coach then yelled out "This isn't college ref." And I looked at him and said "Exactly." He then looked confused like it wasn't processing well. I just smiled as I positioned myself for the next play.

Yes folks it's true, little league coaches and fans have no clue on the rules.....

[Edited by Simbio on Oct 10th, 2003 at 08:46 AM]

[Snake~eyes]

Originally posted by Simbio
Yes folks it's true, little league coaches and fans have no clue on the rules.....

That is so true. I've had people complain about uncatchable pass, encroachment not being a dead ball foul, defense jumps and they're yelling offsides, someone yelling forward lateral because it was pitched foward when QB was behind LOS. I have even had a coach say to me "I thought all facemasks for 15 yards." I just looked at him blankly.

I think they need to make a sheet that has NFL-NFHS rule differences and pass it out to the parents.

[Simbio]

They should pass out a general rules sheet or something. AND, I think that before a coach can coach a single game, he has to have officiated at least one game.....maybe a whole season.......

[MD Longhorn]

I think all HS coaches and assistant coaches should have to take (and pass!) a rules exam. It doesn't have to be the ones we take (the ones with convoluted wording that seems to be trying more to trick you than to see if you understand how to officiate) ... just something to make sure they understand the basics of penalties and their enforcements, as well as oddities in looseball or kicking situations.

[jack015]

Originally posted by WVREF
Probably most old timers have had this one at least once. Punt, right before snap R large scale substitution leaves 12 players on field all participating. Inform R coach of illegal participation 12 men on field. Naturally his question is "What's the number?"

Heard the exact same question in the same situation by the coach of the offending team several years ago and Referee replies "Pick one".

[Bob M.]

REPLY: Team is on the verge of a giant upset until they give up 14 points inside of 2:00 to go. Coach whose team has just given up the lead has been chirping in my ear all afternoon. With his team now down by 5, things start to get chippy. U throws a flag for a PF after the try following the last TD. Now, as we line up for the kickoff, the player right behind me shouts in my ear, "You refs suck!" Out comes the flag and we march off an additional 15 (K's now kicking from R's 30). Coach is screaming at me, "Who said it? Tell me who said it." I calmly reply, "Number 40," who happens to be standing right next to the coach. He looks at the kid and says to me, "Well that's it. I'm not saying another word for the rest of the game." Of course, there's 20 seconds remaining now. I quietly replied, "Why didn't you think of that in the first quarter?" I know I shouldn't have said it, but it felt good at the time.

[Forksref]

On my first crew, our umpire had rather short legs. 1st and 10: After 2 consecutive encroachment penalties on the defense, which he had walked off, the offense was still short of a first down! I encouraged him to find markings on the field, rather than use his stride to walk off penalties.

In NF high school games I've heard:
- "That was uncatchable!" (from a fan)
- "I was out of the box." (from a QB that I just flagged for intentional grounding) I told him to stop watching the NFL.
- "He was in the free blocking zone." (from a coach after I flagged his O-lineman for blocking from behind) - the play started with the shotgun formation - and the ball was near the sideline when the block from behind occurred. A little knowledge of the rules is a dangerous thing.

[parepat]

In HS game two weeks ago I was working LJ. Had a pass deep middle with an apparant push off by the offense. BJ throws flag. Before we get the signal, the coach for the defensive team says to me: "If that's on us (pointing to the flag) get another one ready for me!" Lucky for him it was on the offense.

[ljudge]

I was working a Midget game Friday night. The team on my sideline called a timeout. I told coach to have the attendants bring water to the huddle. The coach asked for the attendant to bring water. The kid is looking all around in the team box for water. The coach became annoyed when 30 seconds went by and the kid still didn't bring water out to the huddle. He yelled at the poor kid who was frantically searching for the water. Coach then yelled "what are you doing...it's right in front of your eyes." The kid replied "No coach, that's Gatoraide!!!"

TRUE STORY! Happened on Friday, 10/10.

I shared this story with my Back Judge who actually topped this. His brother was at a circle (rotary) here in New Jersey. He asked his kid if any "cars" was coming because he couldn't see very well. The kid replied NO. His dad drove out onto the rotary....he was suddenly blindsided by a truck.

[Tom Hinrichs]

Nothng to do with football, but it is funny.

Overheard: "My dad goes ice fishing all year long."

Tough to do in Nebraska, in the summer