cc6 wroteI meant the Umpire Mask Hook.
I believe that absolutely every one of us knew that's what you meant, but you were cleverly hoisted on your omission of the word hook.
cc6 wroteDecent item once people accept it.
I will never, ever accept this as anything but a joke of an invention. It belongs on some reality show where inventors get rejected. I'd roll on the floor watching it get presented.
I had a partner wear one of these contraptions. I had to face the outfield between innings so I didn't blow cheese on my uniform when I burst out laughing.