Dealing with Assistants/Bench Personnel
 

What's your personal favorite/most effective way of telling the head coach to keep his bench under control? A few I've tried/heard...

"Coach, I'll listen to you but not your bench."

"Coach, you're in danger of losing your box because of your bench."

"Coach, get your assistants under control." (Don't like this one very well.)

One official taught me that if the bench is misbehaving and your whistle is out of your mouth, you can put the whistle in your mouth and "act" like you are going to call the T, and that usually shuts the bench up. It actually worked the one time I tried it.

I like to use a version of this when needed--meaning in a situation where it's obvious to the head coach his assistant is pushing his limits.

"Coach, I'm happy to answer your questions but don't let your bench get you into trouble..."

Seems to get the point across.

I use a version of this. I word it slightly differently, but only slightly.

To HC: "your assistants do not have the same privileges you have"

To the personnel: "That's enough!"

Personally, I would never use this ... but I once overheard a partner tell the HC, "I'll listen to the organ-grinder, but not your monkeys."

HC laughed for the next 2 minutes straight.

Same response every time the bench chirps:

"Coach, I'll only ask once...please control your bench".

Usually does the trick. I've only whacked a team once in 15 years for bench behavior.

I've been mellowing in my old age. I've taken to saying, "Coach, help me out with your bench, please. I don't want them getting you in trouble."

I'll usually get a "thanks" and then they look at the knuckleheads and tell them to quiet down.

"Coach, I need you to help me. Your assistant is about to get you in some trouble. I'm giving you the opportunity to deal with him/her before I have to. Thanks."

Last season I had a partner tell an assistant, "You're about to assist your head coach by getting him hit with an indirect technical foul. Do you want to tell him or should I?"

I've used this one once... it kind of worked. I'll explain.

It was about we were about a minute and a half into the game, and the bench from a team who I've seen several times over the years is giving us grief already. We get to a dead ball when I am next to the HC, and I say, "Coach, I've heard enough from the peanut gallery." He didn't take offense to it, but the assistant did!

We get to a timeout (I'm stationed in front of their bench), and the assistant came out (politely) and said, "Peanut gallery, really? I think we deserve a little more respect than that." I responded with, "Coach, you were giving us the what-for a minute into the game. I think we deserve a little more respect than what we were getting." It's like a light bulb went off over his head, and he was a saint there on out!

"I am not going to listen to 5 guys yelling at me." Or

"Who is my head coach?"

Usually that shuts them up.

Peace

I don't recommend telling the HC "Either you shut them up or I will" no matter how satisfying it may seem at the time.

I have heard someone say, "If you do not handle it, I will."

Peace

Had a partner tell a HC "One of us is about to address the behaviour of your assistants." Never heard another peep from them.

I tried being subtle once in a summer game. Something like, "Coach, I need you to control your bench before I have to."

She was clueless and asked me to clarify.

"Coach, you're the only one who gets to stand and ask me questions."

That worked, the dad's sat down on the bench and coached the kids from then on.

Years ago my football umpire was the head girl's basketball coach at an area school. His assistant was chirping pretty good one night and I told Bruce "Quiet him down".

Next time down the floor, chirp chirp. Then T.

Bruce just glares at the assistant and screamed "I told you he would T you up".

Priceless.