Hopefully your son's partner will be an adult with at least some experience. My son called a game or two with me when he was ten, and did just fine. That way, basically I could count on him to call out of bounds and administer throw-ins on his two lines, but I could expand and help him call everything else as needed.

Heres what i would do. Since its 3rd and 4th grade, it should be no problem getting proper permission from whomever you need to get permission from and work a few games with him. Not as his partner, but right there next to him. Get him in position. Tell him where his focus needs to be. Help with difficult OOB and the like. Handle things that need to be handled. Be right there to remind him to get his arm up and what the signals are. He's 13, they're 8. No one's going to care, if they do having you there says back off, he's learning.

A couple three games like that then take the training wheels off.

Here at my local association in Australia we have the new officials work with an experienced one as a "shadow" for a number of games. Following this they then begin to work Aussie Hoops which is a program from 5-8 yr old and slowly progress from there. This is great as it allows the younger official to learn mechanics and AOR from the other ref. they do not have to deal with players and coaches, and they are then able to watch and learn aspects of the game from the experienced official. I do a lot of work with young officials every week and love helping them and giving back to the game.

The most common things I am telling the young officials I work with are:

1. Put some air in the whistle and stop the game. Too many times the young ones will make a great call and no one stops because they didn't hear the whistle.
2. Confident signals to the table. If they look like they know what they are doing and are confident they take away some of the yelling and other rubbish that you experience.
3. Block out the rubbish from the sidelines. You probably know more about the rules than they do. I will be there to take care of that.
4. Enjoy it! You have the best seat in the house.

Hope this helps!
East

Thanks so much for all of the great advice. It has given me some great starting points!

Don't be afraid to use your voice:

At the table reporting fouls... calling out of bounds...

if you are meek then even if you make solid calls they will be interpreted as weak.

A lot of tremendous advice already given...I would only add this.

1- Have him practice mechanics in front of the mirror, or you. He'll feel stupid, but, better to feel stupid in front of the mirror than look stupid on the court.

2- Have him pick one or two- no more- just one or two things to work on each game. Anymore than that and he'll get overwhelmed.

3- Have him start a journal. After every game encourage him to write down what were the positives and negatives of that game. When you write it down, it becomes real- and stays with you. If you don't, the games will blur into each other after awhile.

And, good for him and good on you!!! Good luck, and we'll see you on the trail.

This is huge to boost self confidence.

As the guiding force behind 3 teen aged officials I would like to share a few of my secrets:

1- Keep your young refs steadily occupied on the weekends, working at least 8-10 games. They will be so tired they can't get involved in any troublesome shenanigans.
2- Throw them to the wolves, no mollycoddling. Let them take their lumps and learn to be assertive, self-sufficient and responsible.
3- Make sure they have a solid foundation in rules and their proper application. I can't recommend a better venue than this forum.

Also make them bank all but a small fraction of their earnings. As time goes on, uniforms, shoes, camp fees and etc can get expensive. All 3 of my sons are proudly driving 'refmobiles'.

Good luck and stick with it....

Page 79 of the January 2014 Referee Magazine confirms this man knows of what he speaks. :)