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  #16 (permalink)  
Old Thu Dec 05, 2013, 02:58pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fiasco View Post
Or hung it up for a while because you just lost the magic?
Yup. Happened to me with baseball. Did my time, moved up through the ranks, then realized it just wasn't fun like it used to be. No one's fault, no one did anything to tick me off, it was all me. Took about a 20 year break, then started doing it again this year.

As for missing my kids' basketball games, for the most part I block those nights. Both of mine are in HS. Our assignor is great about sending me to games on other nights. My own father, who officiated for 20+ years, always told me not to miss those. He missed some in his day, and regrets it to this day.

As they say, different strokes. YMMV.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old Thu Dec 05, 2013, 04:35pm
Do not give a damn!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fiasco View Post
It's called opportunity cost. Is what you're getting worth more than what you're giving up? It's different for everyone. So evaluating me based off how you feel or view the situation probably isn't very helpful.

I made the decision that the long hours, little pay and poor treatment from my assignor was not worth taking time away from my kids at their young age. I'm not sure what's so "disappointing" about that.



Well, I kind of spelled that out, while acknowledging that I'm not sure either. Sometimes it's cathartic to just get something off your chest to someone else.
I am just commenting on what you stated. If you cannot take the heat of what this entails, then quit. Again this is not for everyone. Everyone does not have the personality to handle these situations and all it involves. You have found other things in your life more important, that is no different than any other decision in our lives. You made this decision public and it is really not my goal to "help you out" or suggest that you should come back. If you want to get out that is your decision and you will have to live with that decision. I know when I hang it up it will be my decision as well. We all have a different threshold of what we will tolerate and you have met that point. I did so with another sport and did not need validation to come to that conclusion. That sport was simply not important enough and I valued other things.

Good luck with your decision.

Peace
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old Thu Dec 05, 2013, 04:37pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge View Post
I am just commenting on what you stated. If you cannot take the heat of what this entails, then quit. Again this is not for everyone. Everyone does not have the personality to handle these situations and all it involves. You have found other things in your life more important, that is no different than any other decision in our lives. You made this decision public and it is really not my goal to "help you out" or suggest that you should come back. If you want to get out that is your decision and you will have to live with that decision. I know when I hang it up it will be my decision as well. We all have a different threshold of what we will tolerate and you have met that point. I did so with another sport and did not need validation to come to that conclusion. That sport was simply not important enough and I valued other things.

Good luck with your decision.

Peace
LOL...ok, JRut!
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old Thu Dec 05, 2013, 04:39pm
Do not give a damn!!
 
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Originally Posted by fiasco View Post
LOL...ok, JRut!
Do not get mad at me, you put your personal business in the street. None of us would have known anything but I guess that is the thing to do put all your personal business in the street.

Peace
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old Thu Dec 05, 2013, 08:50pm
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Originally Posted by JRutledge View Post
Do not get mad at me, you put your personal business in the street. None of us would have known anything but I guess that is the thing to do put all your personal business in the street.

Peace
Oh I'm not mad. Just entertained. You never cease to entertain!
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old Thu Dec 05, 2013, 09:03pm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fiasco View Post
Is what you're getting worth more than what you're giving up?
Yep. It's that simple.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old Fri Dec 06, 2013, 12:16am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich View Post
I have an almost 9-year-old. She plays softball (I'm the coach of the team), volleyball, and basketball.

I've missed some things. I'll admit it. I wish I would've made a few of those events, but not all of them. I'll admit that, too.

I've never been of the mindset that my life ended at the moment I had a child. Now that she's old enough to talk to, I've told her that I will try to get to some of her games and events, but she has to understand that I have my own games, too, and that those are important to me. If I give it up now, I'm not coming back in 10 years when she's off to college. I'd probably never come back.

If that makes me a shitty father, so be it. Mom's chosen to go to everything -- that's her choice. Probably makes it easier for me to not be at *every* *last* event.

When she's playing at the HS level, the balance may change, but I can guarantee I won't simply quit and follow her from event to event, either.

And since I'm coaching her team in the spring, I'll be cutting back on summer baseball work. That needed to go anyway.
We used to live in a time where parents worked, had other lives and somehow we were OK as their children. I never get parents that stop doing everything just to go to a game there kid will not even play in. Then again I am not an official that would be working every single night like I had nothing else going on in life. Heck in many cases people use this money they make in officiating to take care of their kids activities. It is not like we are doing this for free. My parents would go out of town for their jobs and would sometimes miss something. I got over it.

Peace
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old Fri Dec 06, 2013, 12:51am
rsl rsl is offline
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Me too, but for different reasons

I am sitting out this year as well, and I can relate. Four events last year drove me to it:

1) A school published the wrong time for a game and called at the last moment to tell me I had to be there an hour early. I left a critical work meeting early, got a speeding ticket on the way (which blew my seasons earnings), and had a crappy game.

2) A soccer official was killed here in Utah. I have never felt threatened, but the resulting media attention made me realize how much people hate us.

3) I reffed a sophomore coach I have known for years with a referee in literally his third game. My partner sucked and I had to T my long time friend for complaining about it too much.

4) Health problems (rotator cuff and double hernia) made me a step slower and I realized I was not doing as good a job as I had been doing.

Bottom line is, it was time to walk away for a year or two. It is better for me and better for the kids. My local association president never questions or judges when a ref hangs it up. He knows it is likely better for the game as well. Congrats to fiasco for realizing where he is. It is much better than continuing to ref when you don't enjoy it. Hopefully he (and I) will come back.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old Fri Dec 06, 2013, 08:52am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JRutledge View Post
Heck in many cases people use this money they make in officiating to take care of their kids activities.
In my case, a college education for my three children. Back then, I worked games anywhere, at anytime, sometimes six, or seven days a week. And I worked a part time job bartending in the summer (I was a teacher). That's all over now, my kids appreciate their college degrees with little, or no, college loans, and they often thank me for that. So now I just work the games that I want to work, high school, and Catholic middle school, games. No more youth recreation leagues, mens leagues, church leagues, travel games, summer games, AAU games, etc.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old Fri Dec 06, 2013, 10:58am
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Let me start off by saying that I have truly enjoyed this post. Not all the back and forth, but rather everyone's situation. It has been one of the best posts I have ever read because everyone's situation and motivation are different.

I am sorry to hear that you had a rough go of it. Every official unfortunately goes through it because there are bad people out there in the world. It is super unfortunate, I wish no one would have to go through it.

What's interesting is all the "why" we do it. Some just love basketball, some like providing a fair contest, some like the workout, some like the $$$ (who doesn't though), and some like a hobby. I pretty much like to do it for all those reasons. At a middle school game last night with about 100 people in the gym. One of the middle schoolers (a fan) yelled, "Hey (visiting team).....YOU SUCK!" As a teacher by trade, this was not acceptable. I calmly walked over and told that section of quality people that if they would like to finish watching the game, then they better not say another negative word. Before I could even finish my pep talk, the principal, who is a great guy, was sitting right in the middle of them. Needless to say, most of them thought it wasn't very fun anymore and left. Sportsmanship is my number one priority, probably to a fault. Last night the visiting team kid was getting into it with the home team. I grabbed his jersey by the shoulder (not hard or anything), walked him over to coach and said, "I think you need a sub coach." Coach replied, "Couldn't agree more." He later said he appreciated that vs. the technical foul, ie preventive officiating.

OK, off my soap box. I wish you well. I hope you officiate again if you want to. I had a game from hell last year and almost hung it up, but am glad I didn't. I also have a 3 and 6 year old. They hug my legs when I go to work a game, but teaching does not pay the greatest (2k take home per month, btw that blows people's minds) and it helps with the holidays and such. I think I will scale it back when they start playing youth and middle school. I think I will attend every HS game, but pick up any varsity contest not on those nights to keep my game sharp.

Again, great post with great ideas,

pfan
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old Fri Dec 06, 2013, 11:13am
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pfan1981 View Post
Let me start off by saying that I have truly enjoyed this post. Not all the back and forth, but rather everyone's situation. It has been one of the best posts I have ever read because everyone's situation and motivation are different.

I am sorry to hear that you had a rough go of it. Every official unfortunately goes through it because there are bad people out there in the world. It is super unfortunate, I wish no one would have to go through it.

What's interesting is all the "why" we do it. Some just love basketball, some like providing a fair contest, some like the workout, some like the $$$ (who doesn't though), and some like a hobby. I pretty much like to do it for all those reasons. At a middle school game last night with about 100 people in the gym. One of the middle schoolers (a fan) yelled, "Hey (visiting team).....YOU SUCK!" As a teacher by trade, this was not acceptable. I calmly walked over and told that section of quality people that if they would like to finish watching the game, then they better not say another negative word. Before I could even finish my pep talk, the principal, who is a great guy, was sitting right in the middle of them. Needless to say, most of them thought it wasn't very fun anymore and left. Sportsmanship is my number one priority, probably to a fault. Last night the visiting team kid was getting into it with the home team. I grabbed his jersey by the shoulder (not hard or anything), walked him over to coach and said, "I think you need a sub coach." Coach replied, "Couldn't agree more." He later said he appreciated that vs. the technical foul, ie preventive officiating.

OK, off my soap box. I wish you well. I hope you officiate again if you want to. I had a game from hell last year and almost hung it up, but am glad I didn't. I also have a 3 and 6 year old. They hug my legs when I go to work a game, but teaching does not pay the greatest (2k take home per month, btw that blows people's minds) and it helps with the holidays and such. I think I will scale it back when they start playing youth and middle school. I think I will attend every HS game, but pick up any varsity contest not on those nights to keep my game sharp.

Again, great post with great ideas,

pfan
Thanks, pfan. Really appreciate your thoughts.

I was actually talking to my wife last night. I think I'm really looking forward to just having this season off, especially now around Christmas time.

Next year, I really think when basketball season comes around I may pick up a Saturday or two or weeknight or two a month and do some Jr. High rec league ball. Just to stay into it and to get some exercise and see how I feel after doing that. Who knows.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old Fri Dec 06, 2013, 11:20am
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Guys, don't make me lock this thread. Cause the lock is coming.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old Fri Dec 06, 2013, 11:44am
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Originally Posted by pfan1981 View Post
I grabbed his jersey by the shoulder (not hard or anything), walked him over to coach and said, "I think you need a sub coach."
I appreciate you sharing with us...

but, "grabbing" a kid's jersey and "walking him" anywhere...

Hmmmmm....
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old Fri Dec 06, 2013, 11:48am
Do not give a damn!!
 
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Originally Posted by Rich View Post
Guys, don't make me lock this thread. Cause the lock is coming.
Lock it up.

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  #30 (permalink)  
Old Fri Dec 06, 2013, 12:04pm
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Originally Posted by Rich View Post
Guys, don't make me lock this thread. Cause the lock is coming.
Is this like the moderator equivalent of the stop sign?


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