How much trash talk do you allow?
 

Stricter or more flexible approach?

I let a few things go, depends on the tone and attitude of the players. For example, I reffed a game with two opposing players I knew to be good friends and I let them talk a bit and they were good with it. But those were players I knew would stay in control.

Obviously, you can't allow it to get out of hand as those things can get out of control and also cause the crowd to get involved.

Right off the bat two question come to mind.

1. At one point do you stop the players who know each other?
2. What happens when the other players who don't "know" each other start talking since they see other players being allowed to do it?

I've had players tell me more than a few times, "Don't worry, Ref, we know each other." My response to them is, "As far as I'm concerned you all are strangers so stop." Look at it this way: what positive can come from opponents talking to each other during a game?"

I do not tolerate any trash talk. Now calling a T for it is is a different story. I try not to call things I do not hear or cannot identify. But I will certainly address or make my presence known when I see players talking to each other. I even say things to players like, "I hope that was a congratulatory comment?" Usually that gets their attention and often players are aware that they are being watched and are more careful of their behavior. And I do know that players can know each other in certain situations. If the right communities play each other or a the right college players came from the same school or district, but that is often not easy to identify, I treat all these interactions the same. You can sometimes read body language and tell if the conversations are more heated or confrontational, but I like to always show I am around and let players know we are watching to they do not escalate. Part of this can be discussed in pre-game with your partners.

Peace

I address all trash talk immediately. If nothing else has happened, most times the first offense gets a stern, a$$-holish type warning. If other mess has already been going (physical play; hard fouls; etc) then it gets T'd on the first transgression.

One time I was working a pretty competetive AAU contest where 2 players seemed to be going at each other. Just as I getting ready to address it, one of the players must have sensed it and gave me a big smile and said "don't worry, that's my brother".

None.

+1

This may be one of the very few times having identified, and addressed in the pre-game, team captains comes in handy. Can't say I've ever done it myself, usually because the comments are best addressed once they occur, but I can see when you involve the captain in getting their team to stop trash talking.

With Apologies To Barney Fife ...
 

Nip it. Nip it in the bud.

Seriously, catch it early, and like JRutledge stated, it doesn't have to be a handled with a technical foul, just a simple, "Hey guys, cut it out", will often suffice.

So you allow two players in a game to trash talk but when two others in the same game start trash talking, you address it then.

Bad, bad idea.