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-   -   Coaches Dealing with Parents (https://forum.officiating.com/basketball/93057-coaches-dealing-parents.html)

bainsey Thu Nov 29, 2012 02:13pm

Coaches Dealing with Parents
 
I'd like share a quote from another board from a coach who had to deal with a less-than-skilled player and his more-than-delusional parents. As much as we like to grumble about coaches, THIS is the reason why I have such respect for coaches. So much work, so little pay, and so much crap.

Parents get mad at us for 5-10 seconds, then move onto the next play. On the whole, I believe coaches have it worse. Some parents hold grudges against coaches.

Quote:

I once was confronted by parents that were quite upset that their Senior son was not getting enough playing time(hard to imagine I know). After they called me every name that one could think of, threaten to have me fired and dad assault me I calmly explained this.
Your son is actually a good athlete, an honor student, a gentleman and son that all of us would love to have as our own....BUT he is not a good basketball player. I further explained that he had a bright future and would undoubtedly get his 15 minutes of fame and much, much more. I assured them that because he wasn't a good hoop player it was not reflective of them or in any way failure for him or them. On the contrary they were very good parents that were simply guilty of not being able maintain objectivity due to being so emotionally invested.

BillyMac Thu Nov 29, 2012 02:44pm

Helicopter Parents, Can't Live With Them, Can't Live With Them ...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bainsey (Post 864125)
A coach who had to deal with a less-than-skilled player and his more-than-delusional parents ... confronted by parents that were quite upset that their child was not getting enough playing time .

In my final year of coaching middle school basketball, I decided that the grandchild of a former town councilman would not start, and instead, would come off the bench to provide some leadership for my second string, actually getting more playing time than the player who started. Of course the parents thought that the player should be in the starting lineup every game. When the parents got no sympathy from my athletic director, they chose another route, criticizing my classroom science instruction. A new principal that year tossed me under the bus, caving in to political pressure. It wasn't worth coming back the next year to coach, or to teach, while under a microscope, with my every move being scrutinized. The only way that I would ever go back to coaching any sport would be if I were asked to coach a group of orphans.

jTheUmp Thu Nov 29, 2012 02:56pm

Actually, this one of the main reasons I got into officiating instead of coaching when my playing days were over. I gave serious though to both, because I wanted to stay part of the game. I decided to try officiating first, on the basis of "if there's an obnoxious parent at a game, after an hour or two, I won't have to see them again if I'm an official. As a coach, I'm stuck with them all season".

I figured I could give coaching a go if I didn't enjoy officiating.

Now, I don't think I'll ever coach.

jeremy341a Thu Nov 29, 2012 03:32pm

I coached for 7 year and now I am in my first year of officiating. I have had a much more enjoyable time wearing the stripes. Like others have posted know when someone yells at me it is only for a few seconds and not every day and everytime I see them. I am having a great time being around the game I love and trying to improve my officiating with every game. I am happy I made the change. Of course this wasn't the only reason I made the change, I also did it in order to be at home much more.

grunewar Thu Nov 29, 2012 03:46pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeremy341a (Post 864139)
I also did it in order to be at home much more.

This choice is very much yours as you can regulate your schedule as much as you would like by blocking dates or not responding to queries, emails, or phone calls. I wish you continued luck and success.

jeremy341a Thu Nov 29, 2012 03:52pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by grunewar (Post 864140)
This choice is very much yours as you can regulate your schedule as much as you would like by blocking dates or not responding to queries, emails, or phone calls. I wish you continued luck and success.

It is great as all my games are scheduled through the arbiter which works wonderful. Don't want to work certain nights, easy to block. This was not the case when coaching. Didn't want to work this night but it was my only chance to scout a certain opponent.


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