Share your funny quotes!!
 

I was refereeing a 8th grade basketball tournament tonight. Nothing major everything is going fine. Well the ball is bouncing down the court and no one is in possession of it. A team from lets say Team A literally runs a player over from team B. I call a foul on Team A's player and here is where the chuckle came.

The coach said to me: You can't have a foul if there is not possession. Good referee humor.

I had a similar situation.

Loose ball on a throw-in and A2 jumps up 5° from vertical to get the ball. B2 jumps 20° from vertical and totally crashes through A2. I call the foul and BHC says he's going for the ball, so it can't be a foul. :cool:

A6 is waiting at the table to sub. Dead ball, horn, sub beckoned...But A6 is wearing a black short sleeve under his white jersey (with sleeves very visible). Tableside official sends him back to the sideline due to the illegal T-shirt.....Whereby he sits and takes off his jersey and T-shirt.....WHACK.
Coach says "I've never heard that rule...Don't I get a warning first?"
Even Varsity coaches are clueless sometimes.........

From the stands
 

"I'm going to become a ref when I go blind."

I think I would try to tell them how to avoid the T for example, "he needs to go to the locker room to remove the shirt - send an assistant with him".

I hear you, but not in this case.....Full view of of a crowded gym, and you never know who is in the gym watching the officials' actions.........

Now that's funny. :D

I mean that you tell him that before he removes the jersey -- preventive officiating can go a long way.

I am currently divorced and a lady fan asked the me the other night why I reffed and my reply was so I can get yelled at a couple times a week by an angry wife or mother.

"THREE SECONDS!"

Now that's funny I don't care who you are that's funny:D

But seriously, though...I had an intentional foul when B1 grabbed A1's arm late in the game to prevent him from a fast break layup.

Coach B: "But there's no such thing as a clear path foul".

What made me chuckle is...he's exactly right.

I always do this.... Now.

"Right, coach. What's your point?"

Believe me, Coach, you're not the first...
 

D-3 women's game last week. Visiting coach is really a talker but not annoying. She starts chirping about a call the crew made then she asks me as I get close to her bench, "You're not mad at me, are you?"

Me: "Coach, I have an ex-wife. It takes much more than that to bother me."

The Stripper ...
 

Agree. Or, don't tell him to take it off. Just tell him that the can't play with it on.

...or the variation (actually said to me by a player's grandmother during a wreck game) "When I get old and I can't see...i'm gonna be a Referee" .

BV. I'm new T far side of court. B has backcourt pressure. A gets the ball up court and while doing so A1 makes a pass to A2 who is straddling the Division Line. A2 tosses it back to A1 in the backcourt who dribbles into the frontcourt. B Coach yells "BACKCOURT! BACKCOURT!" Play continues.

A few minutes later as I'm getting B out of their huddle after a TO, I tell the coach A2 was clearly straddling the line.

Coaches reply, "Figured as much, I really couldn't tell from here."

Me, and half-jokingly, "So, why did you yell it?!"

Coach, "That's what I'm supposed to do, isn't it?"

Made me chuckle. Good guy. They won by a lot going away.....so, he was in a good mood!

Funny, I was thinking that officials are clueless sometimes.

Seriously, if this really happened and you gave a tech for that, that is awful.

When I was in HS 3 or 4 of us in the front row of the student section would wear the stripes and joke with (and rag on) the officials. During the girls state championship game one year the chant of the day was "I'm blind, I'm deaf, I wanna be a ref."

I still hold a special place in my heart for loud and idiotic student sections.

It Seems So Silly Now ...
 

Back when I was in high school (Class of 1971) our student section's favorite idiotic chant to the offcials was, "The ref brought his lunch. The ref brought his lunch. Eat it ref. Eat it".

That's great!

There's also always: Nuts and bolts! Nuts and bolts! WE!! GOT!! SCREWED!!!!"

There is always the oldie but goodie from the student section, "Elevator, elevator, we got the shaft!"

While I'm not crazy about the rule, the official administrated it correctly. It would have been better if he had told the coach that the player had to leave the gym to change. But the rule is the rule, and once the kid takes off the jersey. . .

Love That Old Noxema Medicated Comfort Shave Commercial ...
 

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10-3-H: A player shall not: Removing the jersey and/or pants/skirt within the visual confines of the playing area.

I'm not crazy about the rule either. I believe that the intent, and purpose, of this rule was to define a penalty for the player that removes his jersey in disgust, typically after fouling out, rather than penalizing a player for adjusting his uniform, and equipment, so that he can legally enter the game.

Scrapper1: When you note an illegal undershirt when a player is in the pregame layup line, do you always "remind" the player to leave the gym to remove the illegal equipment?

I've always been fond of "We got a rope, we got a tree, all we need is a referee."

And I guarantee someone here will find this unfunny or offensive.

5th/6th grade aau with the ymca,Coach yells that is not a FOUL!,he is blocked by 2 players,made me laugh,i smiled as i went down the other way.

Offensive ???
 

Impossible. Student sections are never, ever, offensive. They are always models of decorum. I'd let my eighty-five year old mother sit in the middle of the student section.

haha

Last night, boys HS rec. Kid goes up for a layup and is ever so slightly touched by the defender. Coach yells for a foul. Of course, it's a no call. Coach yells at me, "Why isn't that a foul?" I reply, "it's the BISS rule, coach". He says "what's that?" I reply, "BISS? Because I Say So". He gets a puzzled look on his face and just sits down.

thats awesome Mark that made me lol,im going use that if you dont mind sir.

Express Written Consent ...
 

"It's the BISS rule, Coach" © Mark Padgett 2012

Better call his lawyers first.

7th grade boys last night. H winning by about 25 or so. H1 gets a defensive rebound, and V1 bumps him ever so slightly in the back while trying to reach over a taller and stronger H1.

Absolutely zero affect on the play, and I hear "over the back" from H coach. I almost sat him down for vocal diarrhea.

I'll say it before he does; because we all know it's going to:
Just send him your debit card and pin number for permission....

If They Don't Do It, They Get Fined ...
 

They have to do that. It's in the coaches handbook.

Exactly!!

The situation described above was NEVER something that was trying to be "addressed" by this rule. The problem we have is twofold: rules that are not written clearly and officials that lack any common sense.

My common sense tells me to ignore this, but we've been told specifically to call it if we fail to prevent it (similar, in that regard, to the 6 player T).

Does This Get Me An Esteemed Forum Member Secret Decoder Ring ???
 

Oh ... My ... God ... Three correct posts in two days. I only wish that my Dad was alive to see this. Too bad that I'm on my way to work a prep school game, or I would hang around to go for the record. "Tough tarts" to all you guys that have put me on your ignore list. To you guys, I say, "Na Na Na Na Na". Wait? You can't see this. Never mind.

I think you're going to find that a lot of people don't think that me agreeing with you equals "correct" :)

MS 8th grade girls game; I call a foul on the follow through of an attempted shot block. Picture the defender's arms coming down on the shooter and then springing back to a vertical position.

Coach pulls her out of the game and the player says to the coach my arms were straight up. To which the coach replies, "are you kidding me, if you had a meat cleaver she would be dead!"

I'm still laughing about that one.

Not quite...
 

While it may be that the rule encompasses players removing their uniforms in disgust, the main purpose of the rule was to address players changing from warmups to uniforms at the beginning of games. When the NFHS added this rule, it was added for all sports, not just basketball.

Not that long ago, players often warmed up wearing one shirt while leaving their uniform on the bench. After warmups and prior to the start of the game, they would go to the bench, remove their warmup shirt, and then don their uniform shirt. It seems that there enough complaints from spectators, parents, etc. who were "offended" by the sight of so much skin that the NFHS decided to incorporate the rule about not removing uniform shirts within the visual confines of the court/field.

I officiated my first games 18 years ago, and played hs ball from the late 80s through early 90s. I have never, not once, seen or heard of a basketball team doing this. By my education, "often" requires at least once. Maybe we have different definitions, or at least different definitions of "not that long ago." But this rule is far more recent than my high school days, so I would need some more evidence to buy into the idea that the rule was for that purpose.

Unfortunately, Brad, you're simply mistaken. The rule was NOT intended to address unsporting actions. We have rules to cover that. The rule was intended to prevent kids from changing at the bench.

From the '05-'06 interpretations (thanks again to Nevadaref for posting them):

The Stripper Rule ...
 

2005-06 NFHS Comments on the Rules Revisions: The former uniform rule did not require team members to actually wear their team uniform. The addition also addresses a growing behavioral concern of players removing their jerseys to demonstrate frustration, anger, and as a means of attracting individual attention. The rule is intended to be applied in all situations, even when a player must change uniforms due to blood or other unusual circumstances. It is not unreasonable to expect team members to go to their locker rooms to change their jerseys.

I had a girl's freshman game this season where I called a free throw violation on a visiting team player for disconcerting the shooter. The visiting team coach did not like this call because he said his player is allowed to communicate with her team. I said sure as long as she doesn't disconcert the shooter. He responds with you need to read the rule book. This was the cherry on top of a lot of complaining from him so I whacked him.

While we're getting ready to administer the throw in, I hear a mom from the visiting team yell out in her best mom voice "Come on ref! Two wrongs don't make a right!"

That got a laugh out of me, which I think annoyed her even more.

I stand corrected. I will now direct my attention to how horrible this rule is.

That's not a funny quote!

I agree -- I simply make sure that a kid changing his jersey (we had one blood incident) is reminded to go to the locker room to change. I also remind the coach.

I'd simply turn my back, but that might not go over so well with others.

Are you accusing Brad of hijacking the thread?

Last game of the season two years ago. It's 1A GV. Team A is 0-18, team B is 1-17 (guess where the 1 came from). The basketball is just awful, and to make matters worse we are working it two man because my partner seriously rolled his ankle in the JV game and couldn't officiate.

There is a group of 8-10 home fans positioned op bench at the mid court stripe one of which has decided he's going to be our 3rd official and call the game with us. He's calling out every foul and violation. He's not belligerent, just really helpful. He's also doing that thing where he's critiquing our officiating to other fans when we have dead balls near where he is sitting.

The end of 1st half ends with a buzzer beater attempt by the home team that I correctly waived off. Coming out for the 2nd half I know we are going to hear it. We walk over to our spot and I gave him the "whew" face and said "that last shot was close". He said "ohhh I didn't see it". I said "I'm surprised, you've seen everything else tonight".

Everyone's face (including my partner) just goes blank for a second, then all his friends bust out laughing. His wife tells me he won't shut up at home either.

Didn't hear a peep the rest of the night.

You have my full support, sir!!!

I don't think I want to imagine what the JV game looked like.

Are those Celsius degrees?

You must be a real rabbit ears to know that came from the stands.:p

You know it's bad when players' grandmothers are at wreck games.

They do add to the team foul count, however.:D

Not directed at an official, but notably funny, anyway.

High school tournaments over the weekend. Underdog team is leading the favorite by 10 points in the fourth quarter. Underdog student section has been riding the favorites all game. When the favorite is moving the ball around for a decent shot, I hear,

"Come on! Aren't you guys supposed to be WINNING before stalling?!"

Saw a travel tonight in the NBA all star game. They didn't call it.

Shocker!
 

I saw several, I think! :o

His partner saw what was coming and thought up an easy way to not have to do the varsity game. So he "rolled" his ankle :D

B1 has hand out in a defensive stance, as A1 dribbles by B1's hand rakes A1's arms, Whistle, foul on B1. BHC says "but she dribbled into her arms!!!" Oh, well in that case...

Although this remark really doesn't have anything to do with refs, it's still stuck in my memory (along with 1950s television shows).

In HS, when an opponent was going to shoot his first FT, we would chant:

"SEE THAT BASKET, SEE THAT BALL - C'MON STUPID, HIT THE WALL!"

We didn't do it every time, but probably 3 or 4 times a game. No one ever chastised us for it.