I think it depends hugely on the other circumstances. Is the school an hour away and your wife is the only one there you know, or is it next door to your home and multiple people greet you by name when you walk in the door?

This is why I said "It depends." There are some schools I would go to where more people know me than the place I have an actual association with them. I would not likely want to accept a game that my family member is working at, but under the right circumstances I might rethink this. Having had my integrity questioned by fans because they think I live in one place compared to another, I can get over this perception if I did not have other options. I worked a State Final game with my current home town. I was not going to turn down the game for anyone.

Peace

If you have to ask the question.....

Irrelevant. Its the fact that the wife works there that is the conflict, not how many people know about it or how many other people you know.

The perception of impropriety is more of a problem than actual impropriety, because it is infinitely more prevalent. Is the fact that the wife works there a problem for the official himself? (Oh my gosh, if they lose on a call I make, she won't speak to me all week.) This is extreme, of course, but the point is if thoughts of this nature would ever enter his mind, leave the game alone. If not, I don't see a problem.

You have it backwards.

The issue is when the opposing coach (or someone connected the opposing team) finds out the referee's wife is a basketball coach for the other school (or even on the staff at that school in just about any capacity).

If there were any close calls in the game, it just them team ammunition that we don't need to give them. It appears like a conflict anyway you look at it from outside. It can only undermine the credibility of the official, the official's organization, and officials in general. At best, nothing comes of it, but the negative possibilities just are not worth it.

No win, can't win, won't win.
 

I think you have a risk from all sides.

a. Opponents think you're biased in favor of relative's school.

b. Relative's school thinks you're tougher on them because you're afraid of being called biased.

c. The couch is mighty lonely.