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-   -   How to work with frustrating partner? (https://forum.officiating.com/basketball/85563-how-work-frustrating-partner.html)

BballRookie Tue Jan 10, 2012 01:24am

How to work with frustrating partner?
 
I'm not trying to say I'm the world's best official or even a good official. This is my first year with the association. But, I do take officiating fairly seriously and want to improve every game. Usually, this is achieved by asking my partner, and hopefully the following varsity officials, for advice, which I write down in my notebook while we are discussing the game. Rules reviews, this forum etc, are also part of that process. Counting AAU I've done about 35 games this year.

Today I had a partner for a small school Boys JV game who did numerous things wrong. Not little mistakes, just plain bad in all areas of the game: reporting, mechanics, judgement, communication, game management, etc. But, he did admit prior the game: 1. basketball wasn't his main sport he officiated 2. He had no aspirations of moving up( he was 65 years old) 3. He had a slow schedule that year. This was his third year in our association. I felt like I was Dick Bavetta out there with him.

Overall it was very frustrating. There was no Varsity game following so nobody could give us advice or pointers or say "what on earth just happened out there??!!".

Here is my question: If you have somebody who seems like they could care less and probably has 10-15 glaring things to work on, what should be done? I couldn't even bring up things for him to work on because he didn't seem like he wanted any advice. I almost called our assignor but figured it would be prudent to save my bullets.

All advice appreciated.

APG Tue Jan 10, 2012 01:26am

You can't help people that don't want to be helped. Best advice for when faced with this situation:

Get in, get done, get out.

just another ref Tue Jan 10, 2012 01:26am

Probably the most famous bit of advice ever given on this forum.

Get in. Get done. Get out.


Thanks Mick

referee99 Tue Jan 10, 2012 01:35am

It is what it is.
 
Unfortunately, you are going to have this situation repeated. You want an experience for you. That's human nature. You want feedback, a give and take. You want to learn something, or impart something to someone else. The good news is that most of the time you will get what you want. Unfortunately on some nights you won't. It is what it is.

Appreciate it when you have a good game, and when you don't, get it done and move on to the next game.

Adam Tue Jan 10, 2012 01:39am

Save your bullets. He's filling a need, nothing more. This is going to happen. Maybe some day you'll see guys like this differently, or maybe you're absolutely right. Either way, as has been stated, get in, get done, get out. Shake the dust off your sandals and enjoy the basketball.

bainsey Tue Jan 10, 2012 01:51am

Rookie, do you use Arbiter for your assignments? If so, you can block certain partners, if you so choose.

I've never done it, as I never felt the need. But, in your case, I can certainly understand it.

Adam Tue Jan 10, 2012 02:13am

Quote:

Originally Posted by bainsey (Post 811853)
Rookie, do you use Arbiter for your assignments? If so, you can block certain partners, if you so choose.

I've never done it, as I never felt the need. But, in your case, I can certainly understand it.

I would save that grenade for a truly deserving target.

JRutledge Tue Jan 10, 2012 02:24am

You can only do what you can and let the chips fall where they may. Just do your job and that is all you can do if someone is not on the same page.

Peace

just another ref Tue Jan 10, 2012 02:27am

Yes, if using Arbiter, the program gives you the ability to block partners.
But what are most association rules on this matter? Do most allow it? Are there limits? To my knowledge, it has never come up before in my association, which is using arbiter this year for the first time.

BillyMac Tue Jan 10, 2012 07:10am

Pick One Situation ...
 
In your postgame, pick one, and only one, situation to discuss, and put it in the form of a question. "I have a question about how we switched, and inbounded the ball, after you called that backcourt violation. Nice call, by the way. You were right on top of it. Since I'm a rookie, I hope that you can help me out here. I really want to make sure that we did it right."

dsqrddgd909 Tue Jan 10, 2012 07:29am

Quote:

Originally Posted by billymac (Post 811872)
in your postgame, pick one, and only one, situation to discuss, and put it in the form of a question. "i have a question about how we switched, and inbounded the ball, after you called that backcourt violation. Nice call, by the way. You were right on top of it. Since i'm a rookie, i hope that you can help me out here. I really want to make sure that we did it right."

+1

Freddy Tue Jan 10, 2012 08:39am

I Took Your Harsh Critique Personally
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BballRookie (Post 811846)
I'm not trying to say I'm the world's best official or even a good official. This is my first year with the association. But, I do take officiating fairly seriously and want to improve every game. Usually, this is achieved by asking my partner, and hopefully the following varsity officials, for advice, which I write down in my notebook while we are discussing the game. Rules reviews, this forum etc, are also part of that process. Counting AAU I've done about 35 games this year.

Today I had a partner for a small school Boys JV game who did numerous things wrong. Not little mistakes, just plain bad in all areas of the game: reporting, mechanics, judgement, communication, game management, etc. But, he did admit prior the game: 1. basketball wasn't his main sport he officiated 2. He had no aspirations of moving up( he was 65 years old) 3. He had a slow schedule that year. This was his third year in our association. I felt like I was Dick Bavetta out there with him.

Overall it was very frustrating. There was no Varsity game following so nobody could give us advice or pointers or say "what on earth just happened out there??!!".

Here is my question: If you have somebody who seems like they could care less and probably has 10-15 glaring things to work on, what should be done? I couldn't even bring up things for him to work on because he didn't seem like he wanted any advice. I almost called our assignor but figured it would be prudent to save my bullets.

All advice appreciated.

I really object to your personal slam against my efforts to try to do a good job with you. I gave it my best, and this is what I deserve??? Why didn't you share your feelings with me after the game?

Oh, wait. I didn't have a game yesterday. Nevermind. ;)

zm1283 Tue Jan 10, 2012 08:46am

Quote:

Originally Posted by bainsey (Post 811853)
Rookie, do you use Arbiter for your assignments? If so, you can block certain partners, if you so choose.

I've never done it, as I never felt the need. But, in your case, I can certainly understand it.

The Arbiter settings can be changed to where you can not block partners, sites, teams, etc. My basketball association does not let you block anything except for dates, and you can not decline games. They are auto-accepted when you sign in. In my high school baseball group that uses the Arbiter, we can block partners, sites, dates, teams, etc.

fullor30 Tue Jan 10, 2012 10:42am

When I was first starting out, it would bother me to have a bad partner( I probably was too) When I do a grammar/travel/aau game, I simply adjust and try and get through it. That said, I had the most aggravating veteran partner over the weekend for a travel tourney. Personality of a slug, it was all I could do from saying something on his performance, demeanor.

At the varsity level, it's being addressed at timeouts or halftime if there is a situation that could be problematic going forward in game.

letemplay Tue Jan 10, 2012 11:38am

He had no inspirations of moving up
 
He WAS 65 years old. WAS? Is he still around;)

Moosie74 Tue Jan 10, 2012 01:33pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by fullor30 (Post 811907)
When I was first starting out, it would bother me to have a bad partner( I probably was too) When I do a grammar/travel/aau game, I simply adjust and try and get through it. That said, I had the most aggravating veteran partner over the weekend for a travel tourney. Personality of a slug, it was all I could do from saying something on his performance, demeanor.

At the varsity level, it's being addressed at timeouts or halftime if there is a situation that could be problematic going forward in game.

As a 1st year basketball official I know I'm going to have some bad partners, I expect that and I haven't been disappointed in that regard. I just learn from it, it's actually a good experience because you can decide what not to take from that game.

My first game this year I made every rookie mistake one could expect, I was lost no question. My partner had some issues himself and just focused on me and telling me that I needed a lot of work if I was going to step out on the court with him again.

After working with some really good partners I've cut my errors down to a few big ones and am getting better every game, I worked with a former D3 college official and she asked me if I ever played because I have a great court presence for a rookie and get into a position to rule on every play.

Then of course I had the guy the next night who showed up just before tip off, in a wrinkled uniform and said he doesn't call many fouls or run any more but he looked forward to offering me whatever improvements he could.

Filed that in the proper file!

fullor30 Tue Jan 10, 2012 02:30pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moosie74 (Post 811980)
As a 1st year basketball official I know I'm going to have some bad partners, I expect that and I haven't been disappointed in that regard. I just learn from it, it's actually a good experience because you can decide what not to take from that game.

My first game this year I made every rookie mistake one could expect, I was lost no question. My partner had some issues himself and just focused on me and telling me that I needed a lot of work if I was going to step out on the court with him again.

After working with some really good partners I've cut my errors down to a few big ones and am getting better every game, I worked with a former D3 college official and she asked me if I ever played because I have a great court presence for a rookie and get into a position to rule on every play.

Then of course I had the guy the next night who showed up just before tip off, in a wrinkled uniform and said he doesn't call many fouls or run any more but he looked forward to offering me whatever improvements he could.

Filed that in the proper file!

Sounds like you're off to a good start. Regarding partners, everybody and I mean everybody, was in your place at one time. The good thing about some of your partners is you can learn from their mistakes rather than having to experience it yourself. You actually are doing a clinic that you're getting paid for. Keep a notebook on each game with a few things you saw or did(did I do this? no, didn't hit me til years later).

I just wish I had found this site 'back in the day'.

Tio Tue Jan 10, 2012 03:47pm

At the AAU level you are working you will have guys that don't care and are no fun to work with. Use it as a challenge to improve your game and your communication skills. At the end of the day, if your partner doesn't care, you will have a hard time changing his mind.

I would recommend seeking games where the caliber of official (and play) is higher. Working with better partners will help you get better. Unfortunately you have guys like this and there is little you can do.

Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. Tue Jan 10, 2012 08:26pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by letemplay (Post 811914)
He WAS 65 years old. WAS? Is he still around;)


HEY!!! I am sixty years old and still around (a round as in Charles Barkley around, :D).

MTD, Sr.

Moosie74 Wed Jan 11, 2012 08:47am

Quote:

Originally Posted by fullor30 (Post 812036)
Sounds like you're off to a good start. Regarding partners, everybody and I mean everybody, was in your place at one time. The good thing about some of your partners is you can learn from their mistakes rather than having to experience it yourself. You actually are doing a clinic that you're getting paid for. Keep a notebook on each game with a few things you saw or did(did I do this? no, didn't hit me til years later).

I just wish I had found this site 'back in the day'.

I feel really good about what I'm doing. I have a goal of adding or improving something every game.

I have always kept extensive notes about my baseball/softball games so I have carried that over.

I'm watching my self ratings improve most nights, I know when I have a bad game and I record that.

It is good to have a partner that I can learn from and take things from. I am also making all kinds of notes about what I read here, that really helps too.


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