My lesson for the night
 

GV game with visiting coach complaining most trips down the court about either a call or a non-call. Standing near him during a free throw I took the opportunity to tell him I'd had enough of him officiating the game. "That's highly inappropriate, highly inappropriate!" was his response. Wait...what?

Being the good partner that I am, during a time-out I let my partners know of the exchange. You guessed it...like Ron White, he had the right to remain silent, but lacked the ability. Partner corrected his behavior with a TF later in the game.

In an attempt to become all that I can be, what is the appropriate way to tell a coach to shut the heck up?

A simple, "That's enough, coach" has worked for me. They always say you can't quote silence, but when you must say something in that situation, say as little as possible.

Ask him if he has a question for you. Tell him you'll answer his questions, and do so if they're legit. Ignore statements until he needs a "That's enough".

When in doubt, address the behavior directly without euphenisms. Instead of saying "I've had enough of you officiating the game" (sarcasm) tell him "Coach, we have heard enough comments".

"Shut up, coach" is highly inappopriate. What you said is fine, though I like BNR's better.

I don't have many coaching issues (about once per dozen games, I say), but what works me is eye contact with the coach, a hand on my chest, and a slow, simply stated, "Coach, we got this." Seldom do I hear anything after that.

General Techniques:
Statements by coaches don’t normally need a response. Answer questions, not statements.
Let the coach ask their question first, before speaking. Be a responder, not an initiator.
Most coaches will have questions when they believe the officials have missed an obvious call.
Having the officials in closer proximity often calms down the coach.
Be in control and speak in calm, easy tones. Be aware of your body language; maintain positive and confident
body language.
Make eye contact with the coach when the situation allows.
Do not try to answer a question from an out of control coach; deal with the behavior first.
If you’ve missed a call or made a mistake; admit it. This technique can only be used sparingly, perhaps
once a game.
Don’t bluff your way through a call.
Do not ignore a coach.

Specific Communication Examples:

Coach sees the play very differently than the official:
“Coach, if that’s the way it happened/what you saw, then I must have missed it. I’ll take a closer look next
time.”
“Coach, I understand what you’re saying, however, on that play I didn’t see it that way. I’ll keep an eye for it
on both ends.”
“Coach, I had a good look at that play and here’s what I saw (short explanation).”
“Coach, I understand what you’re saying, but my angle was different than yours.”
“Coach, I had a great look at that play, but I understand your question and I’ll have the crew keep an eye on it.”
“Coach, I had that play all the way and made the call.”

Coach believes you’re missing persistent illegal acts by the other team:
“OK coach, we’ll watch for that.”
“Coach, we are watching for that on both ends of the court.”

Coach is questioning a partner’s call:
“Coach, that’s a good call, as a crew we have to make that call.”
“We’re calling it on both ends.”
“Coach, he/she was right there and had a great angle.”
“Coach, we’re not going there, I can’t let you criticize my partner.”
“Coach, he/she had a great look, but if you have a specific question, you’ll have to ask him/her, he/she’ll be
over here in just a minute.”

Coach is very animated and gesturing:
“Coach, I’m going to talk with you and answer your questions, but you must put your arms down/stop the
gesturing.”
“Coach, please put your arms down. Now, what’s your question?”

Coach is raising their voice asking the question:
“Coach, I can hear you. I’m standing right here, you don’t need to raise your voice.”
"Coach, I need you to stop raising your voice and just ask your question calmly.”

Coach is commenting on something every time down the floor:
“Coach, I need you to pick your spots, we can’t have a comment on every single call that is being made.”
"Coach, I can't have you officiating this game."
"Coach, I understand you're not going to agree with all of our calls, but I can't have you question every
single one."
"Coach, if you have a question, I'll answer if I have a chance, but we aren't going to have these constant
comments."

Coach has a good point and might be right.
“You’ve got a good point and might be right about that play.”
“You might be right, that’s one we’ll talk about at halftime/intermission/the next time out.”
“You might be right; I may not have had the best angle on that play.”

Coach is venting, make editorial comments:
“I hear what you’re saying”
“I hear what you’re saying, but we’re moving on.”

Coach just won’t let it go:
“I’ve heard enough and that’s your warning.”

Original Source: Topeka (Kansas) Officials Association

If all of your cliches don't work give him/her the stop sign and then tell your partners that the Coach has been warned. If it keeps up take care of business.

I had Regional Final (high school) and my two partners had done the State Finals. To make a long story short the losing team is getting blown out and I was the designated person who is getting blamed for everything. I knew it and I tried every trick I knew to get him to calm down but I finally teed him. I report and go opposite the table and he's being very demonstrative with my partner.

At half time I ask my partner what he said. He told my partner I'm so frustrated with my team let me vent a little longer and when I'm done I won't say another word. Coach kept his word and I had no problems with him the rest of the game.

What IndianaRef wrote can be printed from the NFHS website if you are a member of NFHS.

It is found under Officiating resources and is titled "Recommended Tableside Communication"

Here's an oldie but (IMO) a goodie: "Coach, let's trade places. You come out here and call the game and I'll sit on the bench and act like a jacka$$".

I think that'd get me fired from even the lowest level youth games around here.

As it probably should.

Cause it's pretty damn unprofessional.

Lighten up, Francis!

This board gives three sorts of advice.
Good, bad, and Padgett.

Not if you've been on the league's Board of Directors for 19 seasons like I have.