What is the one thing you can remember that a coach has said to you in the course of a game that has made you laugh because you know that they have no idea what they are talking about?? I want to make sure I get as many examples as possible, I hate being surprised.

A1 shooting second of two FT's.

B1 violates, but FT goes in.

A1 coach leaps off bench....VIOLATION! VIOLATION! HE SHOULD GET ANOTHER FREE THROW!

Me: Coach, the shot went in.

Coach: NO, NO, HE GETS ANOTHER ONE

Me: But coach, THE SHOT WENT IN.

Coach: NO, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WHISTLE THAT DOWN, and then we shoot another...uh...err...um...oh, wait, never mind.

Fool.

Classic, duh coach!!

I called an obvious "carry" on A1. A couple trips later, B1 does one of those ugly "high dribbles" that is not illegal and I call nothing. Coach of team A is going crazy for a carry. Next time I'm standing in front of the A coach I try to explain the difference. "Your player's hand was completely under the ball coach....their player just missed the ball when it came up from the floor and the dribble went real high. That isn't illegal."

Then coach says, "but there has to be a time limit."

I looked at him with this incredibly confused look on my face and said, "what?"

Then he said, "there has to be something you can call on that."

I didn't try to explain anything else to him the rest of the night.

Z

I called a very obvious elbow violation and the kids coach yelled out, "That's a secondary elbow!!!"

I was close so I just told him it's just a violation and not a foul and he told me, "that he had played at about every level and that's was a secondary elbow!!!"

I didn't play at every level so how was I supposed to know. : )

A3 drives to basket and B3 pulls off a clean strip, ball OOB to A...I am C in front of Coach A who says:
"Have you ever seen Monte Python and the Holy Grail?"

"Yes, I have coach." with a confused look on my face I am sure...

"Remember the part about the Black Knight...you know, he has no arms left and is yelling come back and fight, it's only a flesh wound...that last no-call kinda reminded me of that. How bout you?"

All I could do was smile and tell him that was a good one...

Home Coach calls for a time out, I grant and ask him if he wants a full or half, he takes a half. I report and wait until the 20, I step forward, to V huddle "first horn" to Home huddle "first horn", home coach looks at me like a deer in my headlights, "first horn"?, yes coach first horn. He holds his arms and hands up and says, while shaking his head what does first horn mean? As home breaks huddle I walk closer and tell him I am to report to both teams at 20 seconds into a 30 second timeout and prepare to get your team on the floor. He smiles and gives me two thumbs up, like Okay Dokay?
So play continues until home coach wants another timeout, I am the granting official, I ask him coach half or full, he looks and says I will take the 20 second timeout, the fact was he was serious, so I told him he could have the whole 30 seconds if he liked, he was very happy.

CK

Boys JV game. Coach is going crazy yelling to his players to call a TO. "Heyyyyyyy caaaalllllllllll aaaaaaa ttttiiiiimmmmmmeeeeeeeeeooouuuutttttt." The funny part is that while he is jumping up and down I am standing right in front of him. Once I stopped laughing I was able to blow the whistle to grant him a TO.

my favorite is.......
 

team A shoots the ball, and both teams are scrambling for the rebound. tips are going up, stuff like that. and the whole time, coach is screaming "3 SECONDS!!! 3 SECONDS!!!"

cracks me up every time....

Re: my favorite is.......
 

glad you think it's funny!

better to laugh
 

than to sigh....

We'll be here all week - Vegas next week
 

My assistant tells that 3 seconds joke every game - I am glad you all stil find it funny. I thought the novelty would have worn off by now :)

He also has a related joke in which the dribbler crosses half court and he begins immediately screaming for 3 seconds. He is such a comedian ;)

Girls Varsity, Spring League. (translate: not regular coaches). Dribbler prevented from driving to the basket by good solid defense. She cuts in right at the baseline and is running along under and behind the basket. Defender maintaining position. Dribbler moves slightly toward defender, and bounces OOB. i call OOB. Coach comes running out onto the floor screaming, "If her feet are in the air, it's got to be a forced out!!"


(It sounded like complete gibberish to me until someone on this board explained that there really did usued to be a rule, where if the defender could get the dribbler to step out of bounds, but the contact wasn't really enough for a foul, then it was called a "forced out", and the dribbler's team got the ball back. Still the funniest thing I've ever heard!)

Q: You know how you can tell when a coach is saying something that's sheer nonsense?

A: His lips are moving.

Freshman girls
A is leading by an insurmountable score in the first quarter (B is that bad.) A is taking the ball out of bounds right in front of B's bench, hopping around a bit looking for an open teammate. B coach is murmuring in my ear, "she's traveling. She's traveling. She's traveling."
Later in the second quarter, he does it again.

I didn't have the heart to correct him in front of his players.

snaqwells

Whatthehell is a half? :D

8th grade boys PC foul on A1. Coach A yelled (referring to B1) "He didn't even fall down!"

Varsity Girls game...........
 

that I did several years ago, the coach yelled at my partner after he called a 5 second violation. The coach said, "You cannot start the count until she slaps the ball!"

I almost walked off the court in laughter.

Peace

JV Girls game, A team coach is upset about the foul count, she steps out slightly on the floor and yells, please just call it evenly, that's all I'm asking, just call it both ways. The funny thing was the foul count was 4 to 2 in her favor. I had to almost bite my lip off, not to tell her, OK coach, if you want us to call it evenly, I'll have to call 2 more fouls on your team to even it up.

Coach "Good Call .......... D&*%m it! Why do all the good calls go against us?"

Near end of close boys game, coach A calls time out to set up play while in front court. Play doesn't work, I'm standing next to coach A and he says "Dan, maybe you can tell me why I do this" I show him my whistle and say "I'm having fun, why don't you join us." He looks at me, laughs & says "You are nuts, not in a million years."

This is a widespread misconception that should be corrected. You normally have ample opportunity to get a coach's attention and quietly inform him - doesn't have to be right when he is saying it. But this is one where I would explain the rule - cause not even all refs get this one right.

You are right, there is widespread misunderstanding on the throw-in rules, but I no longer bother explaining this one unless asked by the HC. The reaction I get when explaining this is always shocked disbelief, like I just told him there is no Santa Claus.

I guess I am saying that asking for a violation that doesn't exist is asking the question, and could be responded to. Most coaches do not know this rule. They think that on made baskets the "travelling" rule is waived, a misconception that is further supported when refs call travelling violations on spot throw-ins.

There are many thins I would advise you to ignore - other things just need to be corrected so we have a better understanding of these rules out there. This falls in the latter category, IMO.

Hawks: You just got done saying in another thread that we should not be coaching the kids on the floor, yet you think we should be taking time during the game to conduct a rules clinic for incompetant coaches. However much I would like to do this during a game, most coaches that do not know the rule won't be willing to believe that they are wrong anyways. Is this not why they publish rule books and have meetings at the beginning of each season (at least here in MN) that coaches are required to attend???

Maybe in the off-season you should go on a crusade to educate other coaches and fans on Understanding Basketball 101. I've often thought I could become a millionare if I did this, maybe we should start a partnership :D

I think my position is perfectly consistent. If you need to communicate something, communicate it to the person in charge - head coach. If it involves a player and you can make a quick comment, like in the other thread on the almost carry, that's probably OK too. But you are not there to coach the players - and I think there are clearly situations where refs take it upon themselves to step out of their role with respect to players.

As for whether or not you should even deal with the coach on this, think about it from a game management perspective if nothing else. Do you really want to hear about these "travelling" calls the rest of the game when you have an easy fix for this? You may also save your fellow refs an earful the rest of the season.

If you don't think it's your job to say something, I guess I can't argue that - do what you think is right. The rules don't say you need to tell the coach anything about this non-call. Just seems like a simple thing to me, and not a bad thing either.

Hey dont you like it when a home coach is all nice when you get to the gym, asks you how your'e doing, wants to know if he can get you somethin. But after you call something he doesn't like, you never hear from him again.

Does this really work? If so, I'm going to make calls they both don't like really early. Hmmmm, never hearing from him again. What's the down side?

A1 is at baseline to inbound the ball. Throws it to A2 on other side of halfcourt. Coach starts yelling for over and back. Just had to laugh at him....

Blew the foul, got to the table to report and realized I wasn't sure of the player's number. It was taped over in a not very legible way. I turned to her coach and asked, "What's the number of that girl? Three or Thirty-one or what?" Coach said, "Thirty-one. But next foul it'll be three!"