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Coaching Non Sequiturs from the Weekend
Middle School Boys JV Championship Final.
Me: "Coach, for a 30-second timeout your players must remain on the court." Coach: "But I didn't call the time-out!" Later, same game, same coach... Me: "Tweet! 5-seconds closely guarded. Blue ball!" Coach: "But he was behind the red (volleyball court) mark!" Most entertaining coach of the season... |
Here's my best one from the weekend
Someone from the crowd to the girls = "Don't touch anyone or they will call a foul!"
What I so wanted to turn around and say = "Good advice!" (but I didn't) Evidently we were calling too many fouls on the team that was 20 points down. |
I had a regional semi-final the other day. Went to OT. Ended up a 2-point game, 51 - 49.
I had a very contentious bang-bang block-charge play. The B player was definitely not moving forward. Team A coach was very adamant that I had the wrong call. He's voicing for a block: "he was moving - you can't move laterally". During a TO soon afterwards, I'm right in front of this coach, so I address him. I explain the two-step process: first LGP, then the legal moves that B may perform after LGP, and finally the move that B cannot do legally. This coach realizes he is rooked, and says, "I question whether he had legal guarding position". :D |
My favorite from this weekend:
B13 Rec League - A is up by 7 with about 2:00 to go in the game. They have the ball in the frontcourt and coach yells, "Slow it down!" A1 passes the ball to A2, who immediately puts up a 20 footer (the MS gym doesn't even have a 3 point line). Clank! Long rebound. Going the other way. As I go by the bench I said, "Nice coaching!" He laughed and said, "Yeah wasn't it though?" Shaking his head and chuckling the whole time. |
Two years ago I had a girls MS rec coach ask me before a game if he had to call his girls by their "real" names? I had no idea what he was talking about. He told me he had three girls on the team with the same first name and he used other names to call two of them so they didn't get confused. I told him I didn't care what he called them as long as it wasn't obscene. He said he was just checking to make sure it was OK because he didn't want a technical.
When I told my partner he said that was the strangest thing he'd ever heard a coach ask in his 15 years of officiating. It reminded me of a girls MS game a long time ago in which one team had a set of identical twins. One was really good but the other wasn't. The opposing coach told us before the game to watch them really close if the "good one" fouled out because he had heard that their coach would have them change jerseys so the "good one" could stay in the game. That was the strangest thing I'd ever heard from a coach up to that point in my career. |
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ART. 5 The 60-second time-out conference with team members shall be conducted within the confines of the time-out area. Players shall remain standing within the confines of the time-out area during a 30-second time-out. (1-13-3) Am I missing something?:confused: |
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"remain standing" doesn't mean "remain on the court". They players can stand OOB. |
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Both were good. Official called a foul, went to the table, apparently forgot, looked back, and charged it to the wrong one. It was a case of everybody in the gym knew except the one who mattered. It turns out that the incorrectly charged foul was the girl's 5th. Let's just say it created quite a stir for a few minutes. The team hung on and won a close game. Afterward the twins' father approached the coach of the opposing team and said, "We won even though y'all cheated!" :confused: |
Per Bene
I just like a thread with Latin in its title.
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Seriously
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They're both pretty good.....at least, I think they are! ;) |
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Twin refs, simultaneously: "Are you sure?" |
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