NF releases rule changes for next year

[Mark Padgett]

The NF released the rule changes for next year. They are:

1) All coaches will be required to take the NF rule test, parts 1 and 2. In order to maintain the high level of rules knowledge exhibited by coaches in the past, only those who fail will be allowed to coach.

2) All players must have a picture of their team mascot tattooed on their upper arm. Girls must have it tattooed on both arms.

3) In order to end problems with the tough charge/block call, referees will now call any contact of this nature a "travel".

4) In order to eliminate fans and coaches from continually yelling "three seconds" when shots are being taken, players will now be allowed five minutes in the lane.

5) Official basketballs will be shaped like a cube, but must still display the official NF logo.

6) Players who do not shower prior to the game will be called for a fragrant foul.

7) Legal numbers now include fractions. A change to the mechanics manual will be forthcoming.

8) The coaching box has been moved to the parking lot.

9) Coaches must now address referees as "Your Majesty". Non-compliance results in a flagrant technical foul and public flogging.

10) All schools must provide referees with free steak dinners and massages following every game. This rule is known as the "Yaworski" amendment.