Maybe we should execute him?
 

Last night, boys HS rec. A1 on a clear breakaway, B1 comes from behind and pushes him really hard in the back. A1 goes flying into the wall, fortunately a heavily padded one. He's on the ground for just a few seconds, then gets up. He was OK. I go to report the flagrant foul on B1. Coach B just nods - no problem at all. Coach A however, was a different story.

He yells, "THAT'S ALL? JUST A LOUSY FOUL!?!?!?" I explain to him that the player is ejected and his player will get two shots then they will get the ball at the spot of the foul. He's still not satisfied. "SO HE'S TOSSED OUT? BIG DEAL! WHY DON'T YOU REALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?" (CAPS indicate yelling, in case you couldn't figure it out)

My reply: "Well coach, I suppose we could call in the Army and put him up in front of a firing squad. Would you be happy then?"

He just stared for about 15 seconds, then sat down. I still have no idea what more he wanted.

I'd have tossed also the coach, just because nothing else would come to my mind at the moment.

"Hey, ref, call something!" cried a player; my partner stopped, put a hand under his chin to show he was thinking. Of course a T followed. :)

Ciao

I think I might have just said, "Coach, it's the most severe penalty the rules give us. What else do you have in mind?"

How's This, Better, Coach ???
 

When that happens, I usually call icing, or maybe a balk. Sometimes I call running into the kicker. ;)

Penalty, Mark?
15 yards and a free base?
Or 5 minutes in the penalty box?

Penalty? Now that's an easy one: The coach has to read the first three chapters of Confessions Of A Shot-Clock Operator".