I have finally had it and realize its not worth it anymore
 

I subbed in for a friend and officiated a 1st/2nd grade Boys church league Developmental game this past Saturday requiring a single ref. I have reffed many games at this church over the years, mostly older groups and have a very good relationship with the administration there. I was shocked to get this complaint on my performance. These young boys always put a smile on my face, they remind me of my kids when they were that age and just are so fun and cute to watch. I had fun during this game. I checked in with the Admin Director who was keeping score each quarter to make sure I was calling a balanced game and not calling it too loose or to tight. This is a devolopmental league. The Admin Director told me I was calling it too loose for this time of the season for this age. They should know by now what a double dribble is. I thought it was a good game and the kids had fun. I had encouraged both coachs to tighten up on the dribbling, I only called a violation for dribbling if it gained an advantage in the front court. These were usually after the player stopped their dribble, looked to pass, took a few steps then dribbled again. Did not call any backcourt double dribbles as there is no pressing in the backcourt in these age groups. I am not affiliated with either team or church. I do not know anybody on either team nor any parents in the gym. THis complaint was sent to the Director of the league and his response was supportive of my officiating, claiming that it is hard to believe that someone would do this but he would send it on to the assignor. My assignor told me to chill and let it pass, he thought it was very entertaining and so off the wall that it was almost funny in a way, but I think I have had enough of parents and coaches making such claims. You all know, how hard it is to maintain your character and integrity and how easily you can loose it. I am not sure it is worth it anymore. I think I am ready to pack it in. Now remember this, the HC that wrote this was not at the game. This is all by "hear say". So, I will let the following entertain you.

"I really hate sending a note like this, but I felt you should be aware of what happened. I never complain to an official during a game, regardless of how bad the situation is, as long as both teams are treated the same. I never want my kids to see complain to an official, because I don't want them to think it's OK to blame others. I strive to use basketball to teach
life lessons and when things don't go your way, then work harder and keep
trying, not give up.

We, XXX Boys 1/2grade team, were playing YYY at ZZZ on Saturday, 1/23
at 9:00 AM. Unfortunately, I was not at the game, but based on feedback from my assistant and parents, I have no reason to believe otherwise. As I
understand it, the first half was fairly typical and we were up by 6. Then for some reason, the official began to call double dribble violations at will on our team. My assistant said after he noticed, he counted 17 calls for double dribble violations with none on the other team during the second half. These are 1st and 2nd graders, not pros and they are going to make these kinds of mistakes. But regardless, continuing making this call on one team only, makes you wonder what was really going on. I don't know what his true motive was, I can only tell you, from what I understand, it demoralized our team and we ended up losing.

I have a couple of requests -
1) please remind the refs to be easy on the little ones, they are doing their best with the motor skills they have at this age. Other than blatant fouls and undue advantage from traveling, I could care less if they ever blow their whistle.
2) I would prefer that this individual not referee any of our remaining 2
games at XXX. I hate to ask this of you because I can imagine how
difficult it is to schedule these things, but based on some of my
parents feedback, it wouldn't be an ideal situation for anyone.

He basically accused me of cheating. Enough said.

Be done with this league, but don't give up on reffing completely. These guys are getting this worked up about 1/2 grade basketball? Seriously?

Not even close to being worth it for the kind of grief you're getting.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Just don't do those games. Seems awful young to be playing with refs at this age.

A Classic Write-up......
 

from someone who wasn't even there........sad. :(

I'm in the school of - ref if you want to, but don't hang it up because of this. You seem motivated, just don't do this league/division any more. Their loss. Let this coach ref a few games - at least then he'll actually have to be there!

PS - Since you obviously favored the other team, what was the line and how much did you win? ;)

PSS - At this age group in our leagues we don't keep score.

PSSS - I don't ref at this age group..... :p

And people wonder why they cannot get people that really care about what they do at these levels. This is the very reason I have stopped doing "youth" sports for the most part, because the adults ruin the experience. I just would not do this league if I were you and maybe considering not doing this level at some point. But that is a choice you have to make and live with either way.

Peace

Personally, I would request to work this knucklehead's games again, and again, and again, and again. But that's just me.

As long as you work rec leagues, you'll run into stuff like this. Put the rec league crap behind you and try to move up the ladder.

Just stop officiating at this place.

A couple of thoughts and these are not necessarily directed at you:

1) Why does their need to be an official for 1st and 2nd graders?

2) What is the importance of keeping score?

3) Why is a game admin telling an official how to call a game?

4) Why on earth is a coach at that level feel the need to "write a letter?"

Not worth the grief, just walk away the higher guy.

This is true. I work several different youth and CYO leagues in this area, and they all have their own stupid little rules. They also want the games called differently at the same age-range (i.e. 3rd and 4th graders at one league wants more called than the 3rd and 4th graders in another league). I've had several complaints made against me at this one league, and so have other officials, but I just put it behind me. If they want to "scratch" me from their league, I won't care. I won't be the first, and probably won't be the last.

My 2 cents: There needs to be some sort of biddy league organization, whether by the state or nationally, that will dictate the biddy rules for all biddy leagues so there are no confusions for officials and coaches who officiate/coach several different leagues in an area.

Really? Why? Who cares? Rec league is not something that needs a governing body. If you don't like it, don't work it.

I guess to me calling these games is totally different that calling games middle school or higher. I have zero desire to call these games. I too question the need to have real officiating at such a young age.

1. Why would this get sent to your assignor?

2. Didn't really dawn on the the letter writer that the other team might not have actually had any double dribbles.

This reminds me of what a very respected (now retired) official from my area told me one time...

F-them, feed'em beans. :D

Hang in there...

A long time ago, I did a third grade rec league. There was one coach who always gave us problems.

That and he ran every play for his kid.

I hate that adults feel the need to ruin the experience.

All rec leagues have different purposes and philosophies. Who's going to enforce your utopian ideal? Or are you joking?

I learned something from an official on this board with whom I've worked in the past. At that level, take nothing. They all (players and coaches) need to learn the game still, and giving the refs a hard time will not help them with that. If they have a question, answer, but it better be done respectfully.

No one's job or scholarship is on the line, so they can't use the excuse of too much pressure.

As a league director with ages K-8 in my program, my BS-o-meter automatically goes off at the start of the letter, and just gets worse from there.

I don't have an issue with hiring officials and keeping score at that age, although we prefer to train and use the high school players from our varsity program, but I do agree that some parents just take it too far. Unfortunately, many well-intentioned parent/coaches are driven off for similar reasons.

By the way, JPac, just remember, no one who matters thinks anything about that letter. It comes with the territory. I've had an AAU mom come up and ask for my name after the game so she could report me "to AAU."

I told her she could talk to the tournament director, but we did not give her our names. Not out of fear that she'd report us to AAU, just out of principal.

I've had a coach come into the locker room and ask for my name after a rec league game. I was too new, so I gave it to him; nothing came of it. Assigners are used to this crap.

You should have asked for her name and address. When she asked why - you could have told her it was to report her to child services for putting toooo much pressure and stress on her child. :rolleyes:

Originally Posted by representing View Post
My 2 cents: There needs to be some sort of biddy league organization, whether by the state or nationally, that will dictate the biddy rules for all biddy leagues so there are no confusions for officials and coaches who officiate/coach several different leagues in an area.


I don't think the coach was some old lady, but I will go back an re-read the OP.

JPaco, if it really bothering you this much (and I can see why it it just on principle) then contact the league administrator and ask that he contact the coach and demand that the coach provide video evidence of this "travesty". It may be an early age for the players, but it's a great time to teach the parents/coaches that there are consequences to taking pot shots at officials...

If the guy can't provide video evidence of you "cheating", then the league admin. should tell him to take a hike. If he does provide some parent's video, then the league admin should make the coach sit down with them and watch it. At the first DD called on the other team, stop the video and tell them to go home and not make accusations like that again.

Will any of that happen? Probably not...but it can't hurt to make the request.

+1

And then tell the director you want to work the rest of this team's games this season. rocky's right, the coach needs to know how serious these accusations are.

And if you do work their games, don't say a word about any of this.

Again, it might just be me, but I'd clear my schedule just to see the look on the parents' faces.

I had the same thoughts as ROCKY. You KNOW that there was more than one parent with the omnipresent video camera making sure to get their youngin on cam. I can be a tad more confrontational in these situations, and would ask the assignor of the league to set up a meeting with the coach so the three ofyou could discuss the situation. Oh wait, he wasnt there? Then forget it!
I am thinking this is an Upward Bound league. Our church has one as well, and I was asked to speak to the parents, officials, et al prior to the season (Season 2). As a former player, current official, and current coach, I addressed the need to SUPPORT everyone. NO ONE is out to "get" your child. Coaches should not try to be John Calipari. At the end of the league, if the kids can dribble (with both hands) understand a little of the rules, learn how to make a lay up with/without someone guarding them, and most importantly HAVE FUN, then they had a successful year!!
Ok, so I actually ran one of these type leagues before and that was OUR motto. I used to "quiz" the kids. Let's say a kid picks up their dribble runs a few steps and dribbles again, I would blow my whistle, have the kid come over and ask if they knew what they did wrong. If they didnt know I would tell them, make the "promise" not to do it again, blow the whistle and off we went!! Everyone had fun!!

This is a great idea. I'm filing it away in my spacious brain. BTW - a few years ago, I had some clown ask me for my name after a game. I told him it was "Pat McCrotch". He actually wrote it down.

+5

haha that is too funny!

Yada, yada, yada.....
 

I've been involved with several Wreck Leagues that talk the talk......even sign memos saying they'll be "good parents."

It's all beautiful until you toss the first ball to start the year......then, some parents/coaches just lose their minds! :rolleyes:

When criticized at this level, three words come to mind.

Consider the source.

Thanks all
 

Appreciate the feedback and will take it under advisement, especially passing on this age group next time. I have calmed down a bit now but, I did make a recommendation to have the coaches ref their own games at this level and they would avoid the fee and issues with the ref. That would be fun to watch a coach call DD on his own player. I may take it one more step to help the League Director understand the seriousness of the accusation though. The more I think about it the more I realize I have probably spent way too much time on this issue and need to move on. I love the game and like most of you, take pride in what we do. For spite though I like some of your suggestions of doing more of their games, but it comes back to the point of my character and do I really want to be like that. I don't think so! I believe the humorous comments helped me chill some and look at this on the lighter side. Now as my old coach would say - "To God be the Glory! Amen! Now let’s go play some ball!"

Sheesh. Hang in there. It's really sad when adults do things like this.

Just stop working that level of ball. Although, if I already had a game scheduled, I'd still work that game. Don't allow a guy who wasn't even there to bully you if you still want to work the league.

Also, the coach needs to learn the difference between "could care less" and "couldn't care less".

Wait - it's even funnier. He asked me to spell it. :D

You mean cheat and illegally recruit players? ;)

Im glad SOMEONE picked up on it. The Sunday Bulletin will read "Upward Bound Coach/Team have to vacate victories and league title. Players apparently were caught cheating in Sunday School"!! Ok better stop now, Ihave a LOT!!
Also, I agree, words are words, but in the league I ran, the parents were very complimentary. They even gave me the Sportsmanship Award!! I thought it was cute!

Dang, all these years I thought your 'nom de whistle' was Skippy Weaselpants!!!

I would never ref at that level. If you can then props to you. 6th grade and above for me. I played in some top level youth leagues that made me a good player but until 4th/5th grade it was never serious.

HA, HA, And of course you kept a straight face while doing it. That is too good, can't wait to share it on Friday with the crew. You should have tried out for Johnny Carson's job!

After reading this, the letter should have been thrown in the trash. If you weren't there, I'm not interested in your opinion even assuming I would be at any point.

So let me get this straight...
 

this "coach," wasn't even present at the game, and he wrote a letter complaining about your refereeing? I believe the word for that kind of writting would be fiction.

I'd have an issue with the admin who bothered to make you aware of this letter. Should have been round filed.

Don't let an idiot like this "coach" get under your skin. He doesn't deserve the thought required for you to have a resentment towards him. From your description, kids and this youth program are fortunate to have a game official available to them who is as thoughtful and considerate of the kids as you are. It would be a shame for the program to lose you over this idiot.