Best one-liners from fans or coaches?

[26 Year Gap]

A bank of lights went out during a game & the V team was getting trounced. They took awhile to get to full light & I explained the delay to the coach. He said they might shoot better in the dark.

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by sj

This isn't from a fan but is from my uncle who reffed high school games in Iowa in the 50's. Some fan was on him so he finally blew his whistle and had had enough. He walked up into the stands and sat down beside the guy. He looked around and said, "Hey, you really can see better from up here." He told me that it got a laugh and calmed everybody down.

My uncle was also famous in his parts for the night he was working a game between two catholic schools. He kicked both coaches that night. They were both priests. I said famous because some 40 years or so after it happened my dad (his brother was the ref) was in a restaurant in that area of the state and an old friend walked up to him and then proceeded to tell my Dad that that is the one thing he always remembered about my uncle was the night he kicked the two priests out of the same game. I've always thought they were good stories anyways.

Is your uncle's name "Mark" by any chance?

[sj]

It was Richard. Did something similar happen?

[M&M Guy]

I believe grunewar is attempting to compare your uncle to one of our "esteemed" (read: old) members here on the forum.

For example: This or this

[riverfalls57]

Before the game I noticed that a V player was wearing a shooting sleeve on his arm, I asked the Coach: "He's wearing that for medical reasons, right Coach?" HIs reply: "Yes, I just wish he had one he could wear on his head".

[cpamst63]

I had one where a coach requested a timeout, I granted it, and after I reported it to the table a fan yelled out, well you got that one right.

[grunewar]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Is your uncle's name "Mark" by any chance?

Originally Posted by sj

It was Richard. Did something similar happen?

Originally Posted by M&M Guy

I believe grunewar is attempting to compare your uncle to one of our "esteemed" (read: old) members here on the forum.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Stick around sj - you'll see what I mean! Your uncle ain't got nuttin on our Mark!

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by grunewar

Stick around sj - you'll see what I mean! Your uncle ain't got nuttin on our Mark!

Hey - I resemble that remark.

[dsturdy5]

From a partner...

Local in-house boys game, a truly clueless coach asked why it seemed every held ball resulted in red getting possession. Partner replies, "Isn't it obvious? Red is my favorite color."

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by dsturdy5

From a partner...

Local in-house boys game, a truly clueless coach asked why it seemed every held ball resulted in red getting possession. Partner replies, "Isn't it obvious? Red is my favorite color."

Better than blaming the table for not switching the arrow.

[BOFARMA]

I did a charity Games at a Baptists Church. The first game was Girls varsity vs the teachers there. The women's coach ran on to the court, spaying air freshener, screaming that was a flagrant foul !!!

[Mark Padgett]

Originally Posted by BOFARMA

I did a charity Games at a Baptists Church. The first game was Girls varsity vs the teachers there. The women's coach ran on to the court, spaying air freshener, screaming that was a flagrant foul !!!

Are you sure it wasn't a fragrant foul?

[mbyron]

Originally Posted by BOFARMA

I did a charity Games at a Baptists Church. The first game was Girls varsity vs the teachers there. The women's coach ran on to the court, spaying air freshener, screaming that was a flagrant foul !!!

Originally Posted by Mark Padgett

Are you sure it wasn't a fragrant foul?

Couldn't have been fragrant, as the scent was neuter.

[26 Year Gap]

Originally Posted by BOFARMA

I did a charity Games at a Baptists Church. The first game was Girls varsity vs the teachers there. The women's coach ran on to the court, spaying air freshener, screaming that was a flagrant foul !!!

I thought you just spayed cats.

[Amesman]

Originally Posted by BOFARMA

I did a charity Games at a Baptists Church. The first game was Girls varsity vs the teachers there. The women's coach ran on to the court, spaying air freshener, screaming that was a flagrant foul !!!

Did she blow it?