OK - they're not really - but I had fun with one last night. I was doing some games with Juulie, and we had to move to a different gym for our 3rd game. There was a husband and wife team volunteering to do the clock and the book. The wife had done the book many times before, but her husband had never worked a game clock.

He asked me if it was hard. I told him that particular clock was very easy, and that he was lucky he didn't have to work the one in the other gym. He asked why and I told him the other clock was metric.

His wife asked what difference that would make and I told them that instead of adding one point at a time, it added 1.473 points each time and you had to convert manually. I also told them that the words on the controller box buttons were in some Eastern European language and didn't contain any vowels, so it was hard to know which buttons to push.

By this time the guy is cracking up, but his wife just looked at me and said, "Boy, that sounds really hard."

I told her that in the other gym you also had to keep a metric book, which meant you had to convert all the jersey numbers, keep the fouls in metric and put all the player's names in without any vowels.

The guy is holding his sides from laughing so much but she is just shocked. Finally, she says, "I'm glad we're not playing over there. I never really understood the metric system."

I was trying to keep a straight face when the guy says, "You get to leave after the game, but I have to go home with her."

That's when she hit him with the book.

Juulie arrived in the gym at that time and I told her the story. She looked at the couple and I knew she believed me.

Oh yeah - we had white vs. blue so naturally I told the guy that red was home.

Mark is always bragging about his smart mouth, and he does have a wicked sense of humor!! But I want everyone else on this board to know that he's really a softie to the core. He's an excellent partner, who NEVER would do anything to hurt his partner's dignity, no matter how badly that partner may blow a call. He won't even say anything afterward, unless he's sure it needs to be said.

He's also very gentle and mild, and uses the humor only when it's clear he wont hurt anyone. He only gets really nasty with the occasional coach or parent who asks for it. And then he handles it with poise and calm, which is of course the best kind of nasty.

I'm saying all this because someone recently asked about him after reading this board for a while. They wondered whether he could possibly be a good ref with his attitude. I assured this guy, and want to assure all of you, that he is a very, very good ref and the attitude is all a front.

I've worked with him several times, and I have always thought that he could go as far as he wants, because he is an excellent ref. But he has chosen to stay in his little suburb and work very hard with his local rec program to give the kids the best possible nevironment.

Sounds like I'm sweet on him? No fears. He's a great guy, but not my type. And he looks really, well, older white male, in shorts and black socks. Besides, we both talk too much. But for a reffing partner, I'd take Padgett any day for any game, and as a resource for my own career he has been invaluable.

(sniff-sniff)

Group hug, anyone?!?

:-)

(Just kiddin' Juulie. Nice post)

I guess since you guys are from the great rainy Northwest,
when you say white, you mean WHITE! :D

Juulie - thanks. The check is in the mail.

BTW - who is the little rat who questioned my ability to be a good official? Please tell me who he is so I can crush him like an ant.

And...that's my good side.

Also BTW - what's this "older" crap?

Gee.....They never taught us how to convert normal numbers into metric....and i'm from Canada

all i know is that there are 341mili-litres in a bottle of our 5 % Molson's Canadian.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Mark Padgett
[B]Juulie - thanks. The check is in the mail.

BTW - who is the little rat who questioned my ability to be a good official? Please tell me who he is so I can crush him like an ant.

It wasn't me, Mark...it wasn't me!!!

Of course, it depends a little on genetics, but I would put both Mark and myself in the "glow-in-the-dark" category!

I used to tease scorekeepers in lower level FED games (basketball, softball, baseball, volleyball). They usually use frosh girls for this chore. Before the game, I would tell them that FED had a new rule this season, and their PE grade depended how they did. If they messed up the scorebook, they would flunk, and may have to go to Summer School. Some of these girls would almost panic.

Why couldn't teenage girls have been that gullible when I was their age?

Bob

One of my favorite things to do to mess with young kids minds is this: when we come out to start the half, invariably some kid will ask, "Whose ball is it?" I look down at the ball very carefully and reply, "Some kid named Wilson" (or whatever the brand is). Sometimes the kid looks at me like I'm from another planet.

How did they guess?

Some kid name Josh that said he knows where you live and which room you sleep in. ;-)

They were, problem is you were not quite as clever then! ;)

They were, but so were you and it all evens out.

You know, we never see a post from Josh. Wonder why. :D

I asked him that, and he told me he really just doesn't have time.

For those of you who don't know him, Josh is my son. He is 21 and has been reffing since he was 13. He just finished his first year in the Portland Basketball Officials Assn. (PBOA) and was placed in the third year class and given a schedule of almost all 4A JV games. He was just told by the commissioner that he will be offered "regular" member status next season and will be getting a schedule with some varsity games.

Right now, he's busy working full time and reffing a summer league.

BTW - he wouldn't be the one to question my attitude because he already knows what it is after all these years. ;)