Three girls games tonight. First game, one team doesn't show at all, the other team has one girl show. So, I go next door to the other gym and tell the guys there I'll run the clock for them. Halftime score is 15-7. The game ends 19-10, so the winning team outscored the losers in the second half 4-3. The pace was so fast, my fingers got tired pushing the scoring buttons on the controller.

I go back to the other gym to do my second and third scheduled games. In that second game, we have a blowout. This is JV level. The losing coach starts getting on me and my partner in the second half. On one call, I am lead and his post player is defending the shooter when she puts her hand on the other girl's hip and pushes her pretty good. I blow the whistle just as the girl goes up to shoot and the defender makes a clean block. The howler monkey goes bananas and I explain that the foul was for a push down low and came before the block, which I stated was clean, but too late. Here's what happened next:

Howler monkey: "That's bullsh*t!"

Me: "Aw coach, I was trying to make it through the whole summer without giving any technicals. Now you've gone and spoiled it for me." WHACK!

Howler monkey: "That's horsesh*t!"

Me: "No, that's an ejection." WHACK! TOSS!

Later, I told my partner it was too bad that two technicals are an automatic ejection because I was would have liked to have seen how many more kinds of sh*t the guy was going to name.

BTW - I wonder if you can buy Purina Howler Monkey Chow? :)

Mark -- as usual, please e-mail me juicy details.

Last night I'm calling 6th grade boys and one coach is riding me and my partner, wants every minor touch called on the other team. Just after the start of the 2nd, I call an obvious puch on one of his players and he yells "Now you call a damn foul". I simply grin and T him. I let him yap a minute then remind him he has lost coaching box priviledges and to sit down. He politely ask if he can stand in front of his seat to talk to his players, I say yes.

After a couple of trips down the floor, the same coach is walking up an down working his team. Honestly, as politely as I can, I remind him he has lost the use of the box. He ask "Have you read the rules covering the box?". At the same time the ball goes out of bounds, so I turn to him and say "Coach you are one sentence away from being done for the season" (In this league, if a coach is tossed he is out for 4 games and they only have 4 left in this short season). He turns a little pale and sits for the game. Now I wish I would have ran him.

Although your intent was correct, using phrases like this can be dangerous. It is almost the same as using the dreaded "one more word." What if the coach continued to complain but did not use complete sentences? He could still complain using sentence fragments and you have already qualified your criteria for an ejection.

Sorry - couldn't resist. ;)

My Question to LarryS!

Why do you wish you would have ran him?

AK ref SE

Primarily because both coaches for the next games were whiners, though not nearly to the same extent. Maybe if they would have seen a coach get tossed, they would have behaved better. They never did enough to warrant a T, just little yaps. The other coach in the first game said the parents have complained about the coach being a jerk.

Besides, I had a miserable day at the office and had to listen to people complain all day, may have brought a little happiness to my day :D

None are good reasons to toss a guy, so I'm glad I handled it the way I did and fought the urge to send a message to others. Always have been told its better to hunt with a rifle versus a shotgun (don't send out a scatter shot, just get the one that needs gettin).

Mark...I see your point. But as bad as I am when it comes to grammar I wouldn't pick up he had used an incomplete sentence :)

He already answered, so I'll just say I wish Larry ran him
also.